


Claimed By Your Love

by WolfStar_85



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: At least in the first chapter!, Blood and Violence, Dark, Daryl is not with the Claimers, Don't say I didn't warn you!, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Forced Incestious blow job, Gang Rape, Graphic Rape, Hand Jobs, Heavy Angst, I don't think I can stress enough that the first chapter is NOT for everyone!, I will tag more as I think of more tags or if someone points another out to me., I'M SERIOUS HERE!, Loss of Virginity, Michonne is not with Rick and Carl, Multi, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rick is forced to watch, Teen Carl Grimes, Underage Rape/Non-con, VERY GRAPHIC! I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!, Very graphic, You have been warned!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-02-08 07:29:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12859737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfStar_85/pseuds/WolfStar_85
Summary: What would have happened if Dan from the wandering group, The Claimers, had succeeded in what he was trying to do to Carl before Rick killed him? How would it have changed the young man's life? How would it change Rick?PLEASE!!! Heed the warnings, if graphic depictions of rape turn you away don't read chapter 1, just know it happened and move on to chapter 2!





	1. The Attack

**Author's Note:**

> I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! IT IS IN THE TAGS MORE THAN ONCE!
> 
> THE FIRST CHAPTER IS DARK, VERY GRAPHIC, DEPRAVED AND DEALS WITH UNDERAGE... CARL IS 14-15... GANG RAPE. I WAS IN A VERY BAD MINDSET WHEN I WROTE THE FIRST CHAPTER AND I TOOK IT OUT ON CARL... I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR THAT... NOW THAT THE DAMAGE IS DONE, I MUST SEE HIM THROUGH THE RECOVERY PROCESS! 
> 
> In retrospect, I do hope to gain something by writing this story through... if you do not wish to read what happened to him, please feel free to skip chapter 1 and go to chapter 2 when it's posted. That chapter will start Carl's recovery, and I hope it can be used to help others who have been raped or forced into anything of that nature that they did not want. Just know... IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What would have happened if Dan from the wandering group, The Claimers, had succeeded in what he was trying to do to Carl before Rick killed him? How would it have changed the young man's life? How would it change Rick?
> 
> PLEASE!!! Heed the warnings, if graphic depictions of rape turn you away don't read chapter 1, just know it happened and move on to chapter 2!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! IT IS IN THE TAGS MORE THAN ONCE!
> 
> THE FIRST CHAPTER IS DARK, VERY GRAPHIC, DEPRAVED AND DEALS WITH UNDERAGE... CARL IS 14-15... GANG RAPE. I WAS IN A VERY BAD MINDSET WHEN I WROTE THE FIRST CHAPTER AND I TOOK IT OUT ON CARL... I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR THAT... NOW THAT THE DAMAGE IS DONE, I MUST SEE HIM THROUGH THE RECOVERY PROCESS!
> 
> In retrospect, I do hope to gain something by writing this story through... if you do not wish to read what happened to him, please feel free to skip chapter 1 and go to chapter 2 when it's posted. That chapter will start Carl's recovery, and I hope it can be used to help others who have been raped or forced into anything of that nature that they did not want. Just know... IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!

Rick shook in anger and fear as he knelt on the ground, a scruffy man named Joe holding him down with a gun to his head and a knife to his throat.   
One of Joe's men pulled the previously sleeping Carl, Rick's son, in front of Rick and Joe. Joe gave a nod. “Fuck him!” He said viciously and laughed as Carl started struggling to get away. 

Dan was a big guy, bigger than Rick and taller, but Carl was small, kind of thin, and fast. Even so, after a good amount of struggling, Dan’s size and weight won out and he finally knocked Carl off his feet and started working to hold the struggling boy down. “You’re going to like this kid!” He snarled as he started trying to work Carl’s pants down. “No…” Carl whimpered. “No, let me go…Please… don’t do this.”

After a fair amount of struggling, Dan managed to jerk Carl’s pants down to his knees. 

“No…” Rick snarled and he made a move to get away and to his struggling son, but the knife pressed against his throat gave a warning, he would be made to watch. “Please… don’t do this to him. Not my son, please, he’s just a kid! Please no!” He was basically crying. 

Dan was still fighting the struggling boy, holding him down now by his ankles with his knees and his hands above his head with one hand as he started to work his own pants down. “Stop squirming!” He snapped and hit Carl over the head, not enough to hurt him, but in a spot that would stun him. 

Carl dropped limply, giving Dan time to get both of their pants off, he didn’t need the shirts off, that wasn’t the end he wanted. “Let him go…” Rick snarled angrily. “Please let him go… don’t do this…” Joe laughed as he held Rick tightly against him, occasionally rubbing his hips against Rick and letting out a small groan of pleasure. 

Dan laughed and started to bring Carl back around, he wouldn’t shove in until Carl was wide awake. 

Carl groaned a bit as he came to and immediately started to struggle again. “Let me go!” He snapped and twisted a bit, writhing on the ground, trying desperately to get away and crawl to his dad. 

Dan chuckled and gripped Carl’s arms, pinning them to the ground as he worked to line up with Carl’s virgin entrance. He used one hand to move and hold Carl’s arms behind Carl’s back, forcing the boy’s chest into the ground. He trailed his free hand between the teenage boy’s legs, his fingers brushing over Carl’s balls then the very sensitive cock head. 

Carl gasped and instinctively arched his ass into the air, mostly trying to get away from the touch, but he could feel himself rubbing up against Dan and it sickened him how the man over him moaned. Another brush to his cock head and Carl arched more, he was lined up perfectly. “No…” He whimpered. “Please… don’t do this…” 

His pleas were futile however and he screamed when Dan bucked his hips hard, shoving hard and deep into him. “NO! CARL!” Rick screamed in horror. “No… please! Stop! You’re hurting him! CARL!” He tried to look away but his head was held in place, making him watch. 

After a moment of panting, Dan laughed and he started to grind his hips down into Carl as hard as he could, Carl was already bleeding and that blood was acting as a sort of lubricant. 

Dan continued bucking and thrusting his hips in and out of the boy under him. Carl sobbed in pain, it hurt, every bit of it hurt, he just wanted his dad. “Stop…” He cried. “Please...ow…ow shit… you’re hurting me, stop!” 

But Dan didn’t stop, instead, he ground into Carl harder and laughed as he began rolling his hips and moaned. “Oh fuck you are so tight! No worries, you won’t be when we’re done with you! We’re gonna fuck you all night kid!” He promised and gave his hips a sharp buck before rolling them again, in and out of Carl in a hard, fast, rough pace. 

Carl wanted to get away, he hated this and he sobbed. “Please.” He begged for it to stop. “Please?” Dan laughed and went harder and faster and deeper moaning loudly as he did. He brought one hand back up to Carl’s cock and gave it a stroke, rolling his thumb over the head and along the slit.

As long as it was all pain, Carl could take it somewhat, but the touch to his cock, the slit in particular, ignited a fire deep inside his groin and his hips bucked back into Dan and he let out a loud moan, much louder than he intended. Dan laughed. “Like that you little slutboy?” He asked and teased the slit with his thumb. Carl whimpered and whined, bucking his hips back in response to the stimulation. “Oh… oh fuck… N-no… S-stop…” He whined. 

This was way worse than the pain, this felt good, and that horrified him. It was sick, disgusting, he hated every second of it and yet… he slowly found his body betraying him. Dan laughed as his returned to grinding into Carl, teasing him as he did to make him buck up into it. 

Soon, the teasing became stroking and rubbing and Carl responded, bucking back into Dan and moaning, arching his back as he did. No, this couldn’t be feeling this good, please no… but it was. It was feeling so good and Carl… hated it… wanted it… needed it… and that made him sick. He hated himself for responding like this.

Dan soon let Carl’s wrists go and wrapped his other hand around Carl’s cock, stroking with one hand and pinching and teasing the head and slit with the other. Carl screamed out in pleasure, his hips thrusting back against Dan now. He lowered his head in defeat. He couldn’t resist the pleasure shooting throughout his body. Dan had won as Carl’s body bucked and arched and he moaned and gasped at his touch. Then it happened, Dan hit his prostate and Carl came completely undone, his eyes widened and he gasped and threw his head back moaning in pure ecstasy, his cock throbbing in Dan’s hands and he began to cum. Thick white jets shooting from him at each thrust into his ass, his prostate struck each time. “Oh fuck… oh… oh fuck... “ He cried out and arched his ass higher, grinding against Dan. “Yes… yes… oh fuck yes…” He’d lost control. 

Dan laughed and arched his hips, grinding hard into Carl. He moaned and bucked hard, gripping Carl’s hips as he rolled them so that Carl was over him, forcing him down onto his cock as hard as was possible. “That’s it kid…” He said panting heavily. “Ride it… Ride that fucking bronco!” He bucked and thrust hard as if trying to force Carl off him, but held his hips tight, ensuring the boy couldn’t stop. He was getting close to his climax now and bucked and thrust more desperately, his hands stroking Carl hard, milking every ounce of cum out of the teenager before rolling them back to where he was on top and he ground down hard into Carl. 

Joe laughed. “Oh fuck, look at your boy go Rick… he’s such a little slut… he’s loving this!” He said as Rick sobbed for his son. He shook, wanting both Dan and Joe dead. He wanted to look away, but couldn’t… wanted to run over and jerk Dan off his son, but was held fast. “Please… no… don’t… please…” He said between sobs as Dan pressed Carl’s hips down into the ground. He was panting now, as Carl screamed out pleasured obscenities. 

Finally, Dan’s grinding became almost desperate thrusts, and he grunted. “Yes…” He said as he chased his climax. “Yes…. yes… gonna fill you up boy…” He gave a sharp buck and screamed out as he came hard, fast, and heavy into Carl’s ass. Carl dropped to the ground, panting hard, fighting to catch his breath as his body spasmed a bit.

Dan dropped on top of Carl, panting hard as he slipped out of him. “That... was absolutely… fucking… amazing kid!” He said and kissed the boy’s neck, causing Carl to let out a soft moan, every nerve ending on edge and his body over sensitized. 

After a few moments, Dan moved away from Carl, revealing the rather large amount of blood that Carl had spilled. Rick was terrified, the scent was sure to draw the walkers… he almost hoped it would, maybe they would be able to kill these men. 

Dan laughed as he went to Rick, grabbed his jaw and spoke. “That boy is a good fuck!” He said laughing and suddenly grabbed a hold of Rick, holding him down as the now very aroused Joe strode over to Carl. He removed his clothes and lowered to his knees then kissed Carl’s neck. His way was much different as he rolled Carl over onto his back, meaning Carl would have to look at him as he was being raped. Joe removed Carl’s shirt, leaving the teen completely naked save for his shoes and socks which he also removed to embarrass the teen even further. 

Carl sobbed, begging the much thinner man not to do this. Joe however ignored him and leaned in, kissing Carl’s lips and slipped his tongue into Carl’s mouth. Carl tried to turn away from it, but the kiss was too demanding. Joe’s mouth tasted like cigarettes and alcohol. Joe’s hands roamed the sensitive boy’s body as they kissed until Carl let out a gasp and arched up against Joe, letting out a loud moan. 

Joe smirked and slowly began to stroke Carl’s cock, and Carl let out another loud moan. This was worse still, this was demanding but very light and gentle, making Carl come to life in all the right… or wrong as the case may be… places as his cock slowly started to harden once again. Carl tried desperately to mentally will his arousal to stop, to go back down, to not respond but with each slow stroke, he was responding.

Joe smirked a bit as he pulled back from Carl, his hands stroking Carl very lightly and gently making Carl’s hips move as his arousal grew once more. It was only then that Carl realized, Joe… was inside him. 

Joe began to slowly and carefully roll his hips and Carl moaned and with the light stroking, he too started moving into the act. “Oh… oh fuck…” Carl whispered. He couldn’t help it, this… this felt way too good. “Oh yes…”

Joe chuckled and let out soft moans of his own as their hips rolled together. “Oh fuck…” Carl cursed, he couldn’t help it. He was still sobbing, still disgusted with himself, horrified that his body was wanting this so badly. “That’s exactly what we’re doing boy.” Joe said laughing a bit. “And when we’re done, Tony’s going to have you.” 

Carl couldn’t keep from sobbing as he glanced at his dad who was being forced to watch, what was even worse… there was a small bulge forming in his dad’s pants, Carl’ eyes looking at his dad with a “Please make it stop!” look. 

Joe brought Carl back from his thoughts by giving his hips a sharp buck and Carl gasped and moaned, his hips speeding them up considerably. “Oh… oh.. oh...Ohhh… oh shit...oh fuck… fuck… fuck...yes. More… please… h-harder… please… deeper… oh!” Carl was embarrassed, humiliated, sick, disgusted… here he was on his back begging to be fucked. 

All the while, the bulge grew in Rick’s pants, whether it was because of Carl’s moans and gasps or Dan’s hand shoved into Rick’s pants, Carl couldn’t be sure, nor did he really care right now. 

Rick was shifting now, uncomfortably aroused. He bit back a moan and tried to look away but Dan held him fast as he continued to rub, caress, and stroke him. Rick moaned softly and bucked into it. “Oh shit…” He whispered. “Stop…” Joe chuckled they were nowhere near finished as he started to match Carl’s pace then override it, bucking, thrusting and humping himself furiously into the teen’s ass. 

Carl moaned loudly and matched the pace with his own violent movements. “Fuck…. Fuck… I’m going to cum…” Carl whispered, this time he could feel it coming on. “Oh yes… Oh fuck yes… You’re going to make me cum…” 

Joe gave a hard thrust, Carl bucked up against it and Carl’s cum shot out and onto his waist it was a smaller amount than the first time, but it was still there. 

After two or three harder bucks, Joe groaned and ground into Carl going in deep before he too shot out deep inside Carl. Dan laughed as Rick moaned from both his now fast firm strokes and the sound of Carl’s cum splashing onto the boy’s chest. Rick’s hips were moving, pressing against Dan’s hand rubbing him, he needed release but was being denied each time he seemed to be getting close to climax. “Please…” Rick whispered. “Not yet!” Dan teased and licked Rick's ear.

As Joe moved away from Carl, Tony stepped up and lowered over Carl. His style was different still, preferring Carl on his hands and knees like a dog. Carl was weakening, and it was hard to hold himself up. Tony entered Carl with one sharp buck that, if he hadn’t been holding Carl’s hips, would have shoved Carl to the ground. The force ripped a pained cry from Carl’s lips. 

Tony wrapped one arm around Carl’s neck and throat, forcing Carl into an uncomfortable arch as he started humping him furiously, this angle was hell on Carl’s body and senses. He couldn’t move, he could hardly breath and he could only make panting and whimpering sounds as Tony humped him like he was a bitch dog in heat, his long thick cock striking Carl’s prostate on the initial entry then again with every bucking thrust. 

Carl choked out a moan that sounded like a dog’s whine, something Tony no doubt wanted. Dan laughed and with Joe’s help moved Rick over to Carl. Rick struggling to get free. “NO! Absolutely fucking no!” Rick snarled and struggled against the two men as Dan jerked Rick’s pants down and Tony shoved Carl’s head forward, Carl’s mouth suddenly locked around his dad’s cock and Rick gasped and arched against Dan, his hips thrusting forward on their own. 

Carl was sobbing again, choking on his dad’s cock. Looking at their tormentors with shame and sadness, tears ran down his cheeks. Looking at his dad pleadingly to make the torture end. But it didn’t as Tony humped him harder still, now forcing Carl to bob his head and suck his dad off. 

Rick shuddered and arched, moaning softly. He’d always loved blow jobs and this even though his son, was not different. “Oh Carl…” He moaned softly only adding to Carl’s embarrassment. “Carl… that… oh fuck…” 

Carl whimpered as he was made to suck his dad, moaning around it as Tony struck his prostate over and over. He began praying for the torture to end, almost wanting his dad to shoot him… to make it all stop, but it didn’t happen. He could feel his dad getting closer and closer and it make him even sicker. “Oh… oh fuck… Carl… Carl…” Rick moaned and gripped Carl’s hair as he began bucking his hips now, thrusting his cock deep into Carl’s throat. “Suck it, Carl! Oh yes Carl… fuck yes…” 

Rick was so close and finally his hips bucked hard into Carl’s mouth as he came hard with a loud moan. Carl struggled to swallow all of his dad’s cum, having choked a bit when his dad has lost control, but he managed. He bowed his head in shame, sobbing harder than ever as Rick sank to his knees, recovering from his orgasm. Tony laughed as he humped Carl. “That was beautiful!” He said between laughs, this was nothing more than a fun game to these creeps. 

“Please… no more…” Carl whispered as he cried with embarrassment, hurt, sadness, anger, just… so many emotions attacking his teenage body right now, not to mention he was literally scared out of his mind. 

Another strike to Carl's prostate and Carl couldn’t stop the moan that slipped out and his hips thrust back against his tormentor. “Oh fuck…” He whispered feeling Tony’s humping change to hard bucks that he couldn’t help but meet with his own movements.   
Tony let out a sudden loud moan as his cock throbbed hard and he began spilling out into Carl’s body. He panted and began nuzzling Carl as he rested and caught his breath. 

Carl sobbed under him, coughed a bit and sobbed harder as he tried to move out from under Tony, but he couldn't move… his arms and legs frozen it seemed. 

After several moments, Tony kissed Carl’s neck as he stood and moved away. Once Tony was off him, Carl slumped onto the ground, he curled up into a tiny ball, not looking at anyone, scared, ashamed, hurt, embarrassed, angry, terrified. “Harley! You’re up! Just… don’t damage him TOO badly!” Joe said laughing.

Harley laughed as he stepped forward and forced Carl onto his feet and made him brace against the car that Carl and Rick had been sleeping in. He could feel the boy sobbing and shaking, though Carl was no longer trying to fight, what was the use? He let out a small scream of pain when Harley bucked into him hard and roughly entered him. 

This new position hurt worse than the others had. “Oh fuck yes!” Harley cried in pleasure as he roughly moved in and out of Carl’s already abused ass. 

Carl’s body was forced against the car time and time again. He tried to force himself to relax as much as possible, trying to get some semblance of pleasure, but Harley was rough, brutal and didn’t care if he hurt Carl or not. 

Rick tried to get to his son, only to be held back by the others that had already had turns with Carl. “Carl…” He whispered as he himself sobbed now, his heart breaking for his son. “I’m so sorry son… I’m so sorry. Please… stop! You’re hurting him!” He cried trying to get away, his son needed him. 

Each cry of pain ripped into Rick’s heart more and more. He watched as Harley, who wasn’t much bigger than Rick’s friend Daryl, brutally had his way with Carl. 

“Don’t kill the boy Harley.” Joe cautioned. “We need to save some of him for Billy here.” Harley growled in an almost animalistic way but did tone down his violent thrusts. He smirked and gripped Carl’s cock hard and started jerking him in time with each thrust. 

Carl gasped at the jerking, it hurt but in an odd way, felt good at the same time. He didn’t moan for Harley as he had for the others, not until Harley’s thumb rolled over the slit in the head of Carl’s cock, that elicited a loud moan and Carl’s hips bucked in response. Harley continued rolling his thumb over Carl’s slit, making the teen writhe, gasp and moan against him. Finally, it was feeling good, too good… Carl was too sensitive and responded without much resistance. 

Harley laughed, holding the boy’s hands down on the hood of the car with one hand while his other hand stroked Carl slowly. His thumb continued rolling over the slit as Harley bit down onto the back of Carl’s neck, though it wasn’t hard enough to break skin, it was a threat. 

Carl went still at the threat and Harley bucked and thrust into him hard and fast, stroking him at the same pace. Carl let out a whine, he was getting close to his own climax once again, he silently cursed his teenage body and hormones. He could tell by Harley’s thrusts, that the man was getting close as well. 

Carl whimpered and whined moving into Harley’s thrusts. His legs were shaking and it was basically only Harley’s body that was holding Carl up now. Carl heard Harley start grunting, signalling that his attacker was almost to his peak. 

Carl cried out in pained pleasure as Harley bucked forward once then just before he started coating Carl’s insides with cum, Harley pulled out completely; allowing Carl to feel the man’s semen dotting along his spine. 

Unlike the others, Harley hadn’t emptied inside him, he’d marked the boy, then moved away. Carl fell against the car panting heavily. There was one more to go, and Carl was terrified as he slumped against the car trying to catch his breath, which with the fact that he was crying almost uncontrollably, was hard to do.

All too soon the fifth member of the group, Billy, stepped up. He was what many would describe as the strong silent type, for a reason. Billy didn’t often talk, he let his actions do the talking. He quickly stripped and moved forward then laid down on his back, there was no way he was letting Harley’s semen get rubbed off by making Carl be on his back. He spoke one word. “On!” Carl sniffed and looked at him, this was the worst… this man was going to make him instigate sort of… slowly he crawled over and looked into Billy’s cool dark eyes before lowering himself onto Billy’s cock, the position put Billy in deep and together they both started moving their hips. 

Carl couldn’t help but shudder and let out a soft groan as the angle put Billy deep inside him. 

At one point, he closed his eyes until he felt a sharp slap and heard the word. “Open!” He gasped and his eyes snapped open. He looked at the man he was on top of. His hips moved a bit faster of their own accord as he grew more and more aroused yet again. He leaned back a bit, using his hands behind him on Billy’s legs to brace himself and he suddenly started moving faster. His moans were louder and he couldn’t seem to get a grip on his own body. Damn hormones… why did this have to happen to him? And why couldn’t he fight it? And why the hell wasn’t his dad doing anything to stop them?

Billy moaned as Carl continued to speed up on him and he nodded in approval, his own hips moving slightly, but he let Carl do most of the work. He knew that alone would shatter the young man, he could tell it was in Carl’s actions. Making Carl basically rape himself. 

Billy arched his hips, going deeper into Carl and the teen moaned and rode him hard.”Yes… oh… oh yes… fuck...” Carl couldn’t stop the moaned words from leaving his lips. His hips bucked more as Billy wrapped a hand around his cock and started stroking him slowly and lightly, it was driving Carl to madness. “More… More… please.” Carl begged him but only got another arch of the hips in response. 

Billy shifted their position so that they both were sort of setting up, Carl in his lap, facing him. He kissed Carl gently using one hand to force Carl to slow down as he stroked Carl slowly. The slowness was making Carl crazy with need. “Faster…” Carl whispered and kissed Billy back furiously. But Billy didn’t speed up, and didn’t let Carl speed up. He was going to take his time as he made out with Carl, kissing him deeply, and slipping his tongue into Carl’s mouth before moving his kisses to Carl’s neck to which Carl tilted his head to the side and moaned loudly for him. This was absolute torture, though Carl had to admit, his body was glad for the slower movements.

To Carl’s horror however, Billy seemed to grow bored and before Carl realized what happened, Billy moved, pulled out of him and forced the teen to his side, still keeping his back off the ground, he lifted Carl’s legs and entered him again, rutting into him fast and hard, on hand still stroking Carl’s cock as he rammed into him at a hard fast pace. Carl’s body was thrown into shock and he arched and let out a loud scream of pleasure. Billy kissed him again, hard… a lip bruising kiss. 

Carl felt his lower body tightening, the sensation that told him he was nearing his climax once again. He sort of curled his front a bit, resting his head on Billy’s chest in an almost intimate way as they continued what they were doing.

Billy laughed and changed things once again, returning back to the slow manner they were at before. This confused Carl’s body and the practically fell apart, begging and pleading for more. “Please… Please just… fuck me…” Carl begged, whining from the slow pace, his body simply couldn’t adjust that fast and was starting to overload. Billy laughed and slapped Carl’s face, now he would talk. “You dirty little slut! Begging to be fucked! I thought I was being very generous in giving you a good slow session after all the others were so rough and tumble with you!” 

Carl whimpered as his head jerked to the side and more tears sprang to his eye. He tried to speed up but Billy wouldn’t let him. Carl moaned and whined as they continued this slow manner. He shuddered, Billy knew exactly what to do to bring Carl the best/worst pleasure imaginable. “Oh… oh… more… oh god… please more… please…” Carl begged and pleaded with him. He couldn’t handle this slowness. “Fuck me… please fuck me… please… oh god please… I need it… I need it harder, faster…. Please.” 

Billy laughed and slapped Carl again before moving their position once more, he was now on his back with Carl over him but facing the opposite direction. “Have at it kid.” He ordered and Carl’s body responded, grinding itself onto Billy’s cock hard and fast. 

Carl moaned and gasped, arching occasionally as he brought himself nearer and nearer to his climax. “Yes…” 

Billy laughed and moaned. “Yes… oh… oh that’s it… yeah… that’s it boy, you’re doing great!” Before Carl could cum however, it all changed again and Billy forced Carl back to the slow position. 

Carl arched and cried out as the change in position and speed forced his body into overload and he shot his cum onto his and Billy’s abdomens. Billy continued to slowly rut into Carl before he too spilled out, coating Carl’s insides. He laughed as he pulled out, and let Carl drop to his belly onto the ground. 

Carl curled up again, sobbing, shaking, ashamed, terrified. “Please… you’ve had your fun… please go away.” He was whispering it, almost praying that they would go away, but they didn’t, they all stood there laughing at him. 

All except from his dad, who had been crying, screaming for them to stop the whole time. “I’m sorry.” Rick muttered over and over, he just hoped his son could forgive him. He slowly moved to to stand. He had to get to Carl… but he was stopped by all four of the Claimers that wasn’t Joe. Joe on the other hand stood over Carl. “Please… stop.” Rick said trying to catch his breath from his own sobbing. 

Joe smirked and lowered over Carl again, forcing the boy to his back and kissed him gently as he pressed himself into Carl very gently and started slowly moving his hips. Carl couldn’t help but gasp and moan. His fight was completely gone, he was exhausted and growing weak from fighting and what was being done to him. He looked up at Joe with broken, defeated eyes, which seemed to get even more so the more Joe’s hips moved. “That’s a good look on you kid!” Joe said laughing.

Carl moaned softly, it was about all he could do. He was Joe’s, to do with what he wanted and there was no way he could stop him. Joe with his uncanny way of making Carl’s body scream in pleasure, moved his hips slowly. He pulled Carl’s lips to his own and kissed him while rutting into him in a slow steady pace. 

Carl didn’t even attempt to pull back, instead he allowed the kiss and kissed back. He moaned softly for Joe. His legs wrapped around Joe’s waist and he used them to press Joe into him deeper. He wriggled his hips a bit and pressed up at the same time as using his legs to press Joe down onto him, he felt Joe hit his prostate, his walls clamped down tight around Joe’s cock. “Do it…” Carl whispered. “Just cum… just fucking cum.” 

He felt it, every single bit of it as Joe’s cock gave a hard throb and suddenly began filling him. It seemed like several minutes passed until Joe stopped cumming and Carl was full to the max, but Joe didn’t pull out, even though he was going flaccid now. 

“What are you…” Carl asked softly, curiously. “You’ll find out soon enough.” Joe said and kissed Carl’s neck before thrusting his hips once more. Carl arched and cried out as he came without warning. 

Joe laughed, leaned in, kissed Carl roughly before turning Carl’s head to the right and biting down hard on a patch of skin just behind Carl’s ear, his teeth puncturing the skin to leave a permanent mark. He let go as Carl screamed in pain, blood dripping from the wound. He laughed loudly in triumph and called one word into the night. “CLAIMED!” He pulled himself out of Carl completely and kissed him. 

Carl rolled to his side and curled up into a ball, his arms over his face as he sobbed. If it were possible for men to get pregnant, Carl knew he would have been. 

It had all been so wrong, and thanks to these five men, it had felt so right… “Kill them Dad!” Carl cried. “Please… Make it stop now!” Rick looked to Carl then glared at the men that called themselves “The Claimers” and growled angrily. “You fucking bastards!” He snarled viciously. His son’s sobs and pleas for it to be over, killed him, and pissed him off.. He’d never felt this pissed off in his life. “You’re even more messed up than we originally thought Grimes!” Harley said laughing now that Carl was a claimed boy. “Letting us fuck your boy, letting us claim him!” Dan laughed and suddenly slapped Rick hard across the face. 

Rick’s head snapped to the side and he growled, he’d had enough, his son had been mentally and emotionally scarred and damaged. Rick knew that damage was beyond repair. He acted without thinking, all he could see was red. He grabbed Tony first around the throat, tearing it out with his bare hands. Rick was livid. He let Tony go, dropping him to the ground then turned on Harley, gripped his arm jerking it hard, breaking it at the elbow before tearing his throat out as well. 

Next he moved to Billy, for a moment it appeared as if he might spared Billy for being gentler with his son, but Billy soon dropped to the ground, throat tore out. Rick moved and grabbed Joe he let out a growl that could easily have been mistaken for a walker just before he bit hard into Joe’s throat, tearing it out before turning to Dan. 

If Dan had thought walkers were bad, he’d never seen anything compared to Rick Grimes this hurt and pissed off. Rick grabbed him and though Dan was bigger and heavier, easily threw him hard into a nearby tree where Dan crumpled against it, his spine shattered. “NO ONE!” Rick snarled. “NO ONE fucking hurts my boy like that and lives! I’m going to fucking make you all pay!”

Rick had been driven wild with a blinding rage, he tore into each of Joe’s men as well as Joe himself, making the paralyzed Dan watch as he ripped them open, tearing out every organ in their bodies with his bare hands and teeth. He stopped to look at and move over to Dan. He dragged Dan over beside Joe’s body and started in; tearing into him very walker-like, tearing out all organs and breaking bones as he went. 

Dan screamed in pain as the torture continued until Rick tore his throat out as well. Carl had been hurt in the worst way possible and Rick was pissed. He bit into Dan’s body ripping out muscles, tearing arteries and veins with his hands and teeth. He made sure to bash all five of the men’s heads in. They would pay for what they had done, he would see to that. He growled as he worked on utterly destroying the men. 

By the time he was done, there was blood all over him and the ground, all of the men’s internal organs strewn about with large gashed open places in each organ, and their heads bashed in so they couldn’t turn. 

After a good while of this blinding rage, Rick finally dropped to his knees, beside his now passed out son. He panted hard and gently brushed some hair out of Carl’s face. “Rest…” He said in a gruff scratchy voice. He stood, weak and shaking and picked Carl up and carried him to the car getting them both in before he too passed out. He didn’t even notice when Carl had woken up and moved out of the car when the sun finally came up, afraid that his dad had been killed and turned in the night.


	2. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl and Rick are found, how will the ones that find them react to what's happened? How will Carl react to them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very emotional chapter as it deals with the day following Carl's attack.

Daryl and Michonne had been looking all night for Rick and Carl. They were both tired and about ready to go home, get some rest and start looking again, later. It was early morning, and the sun was just coming up as Daryl leaned against a tree and sighed. “We should probably go back to camp. We both need rest, we can start in again later today.” He said gently, though he hated doing that, Rick was like a brother to him. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. 

“We have to keep looking.” Michonne said, she was tired to, but she knew they couldn’t stop until they had found Rick and Carl. Everyone had gotten separated after the battle with Governor at the prison and Daryl was the first one of the team she’d found. They had found the others not long after, held up in a cabin, but Rick and Carl were still missing. 

Daryl nodded. He knew she was right. “I know.” He said gently. “I wouldn’t be able to…” He stopped, he’d heard a noise, a whimper. “What was that?” He asked Michonne and she reached behind her and put a hand to her sword. “I’m not sure, let’s go find out.” 

The whimper came again and she started walking. “Hello?” She asked into the air and they heard a faint, “help.” In response. “Keep talking!” Michonne said and started following the voice, it was soft, which meant one of four things, the person was a fair distance off, weak, injured, or dying, or all of the above. “What’s your name?” Michonne asked to keep the person talking. 

“C-Carl…” Carl said softly, he was very weak and still exhausted. He’d woken up when the sun came up and found all of the men that had attacked him and his dad tore to shreds and his dad passed out beside him in the car with blood all over him. 

Carl wasn’t sure if his dad was alive or had been killed and turned in the night so he’d silently gotten out of the car, though it hurt like hell to move and got down on the ground, shutting the car door then crawled a few feet away from the car. 

All he knew was the rape he’d endured, the sickening way he’d responded, and the fact that… his dad hadn’t stopped them. How could he ever look his dad in the face again? He didn’t necessarily blame his dad, but he was so ashamed and embarrassed. “Please… hurry.” Carl said softly but loud enough for the woman, it was Michonne he thought but wasn’t sure and right now… he didn’t really care, it wasn’t a male and it talked. Walkers didn’t talk.

Michonne followed Carl’s voice and came out of the trees into the clearing and stopped dead in her tracks at the scene. “Oh my God…” She said in shock. 

Daryl stepped up beside her. “What the fuck?” He asked looking over the scene. Then he saw Rick in the car… blood all over his body, too much like his brother Merle. “Carl… come over here.” Michonne said gently wanting to get Carl far away from Rick until they knew for sure, his condition. Not that Rick could do anything if he was turned, he was shut up in the car after all. 

Carl tried to get up but the pain that wracked his body dropped him where he was. He curled up into a tight ball sobbing as the images of what happened flooded him. Rick groaned, hearing Carl’s sobs through the cracked windows of the car, his eyes fluttered open, dark pupils, but the whites were bloodshot. “Coral…” He said softly, his voice rough from the misuse last night. He moved to get out of the car and to Carl who cringed back, terrified. “It’s okay now…” Rick said getting out and going toward his son. 

“They’re gone.” He couldn’t remember deciding to attack the men, but he knew he had, and he knew the sick bastards had died. “They’re gone son.” He said dropping to his knees, his legs weak. “You’re safe now. Come here, Carl… come here, it’s okay now.” He looked up to Daryl and Michonne, then around him, knowing what this must look like. 

Rick swallowed a lump in his throat. “They hurt him.” He said softly. “They hurt him so bad.” He was sobbing now too. “I couldn’t stop them. I couldn’t protect my son. They hurt him…” Carl stayed curled up, ashamed, afraid to face his dad, and honestly, not wanting to be messed with, right now… if truth were told… he wanted to die.

Daryl spanned the distance and knelt to Rick, checking him over then went to move toward Carl who again cringed away, terrified, and whimpered. “Don’t touch.” Carl whimpered, curling in around himself more. 

Michonne shook her head and went to Carl, she knelt. “Carl, son… it’s okay… It’s Michonne. I won’t hurt you honey. Come here, please.” 

Slowly Carl looked up at her, he didn’t want touched, he didn’t want hurt again. He whimpered like a scared puppy, even making that noise reminded him of them… the way Tony used him like a bitch in heat, and he sobbed hard. 

“Shh…” Michonne said softly and brushed a strand of his hair out of his face. “Shh. Easy honey, you’re okay now. It’s okay now, they are gone and will never hurt you again. No one will if I have a say in it.” Very slowly Carl uncurled and, though it hurt to move, he did so; crawling on his belly and curling up in Michonne’s protective arms. He cried, he cried hard. 

Daryl found Carl’s clothes and tossed Carl’s shirt to Michonne who quickly wrapped it around Carl’s lower half. “What did they do to him Rick?” Michonne asked softly as she started to rock the terrified boy in her arms. 

Rick looked down, crying a bit himself. “I couldn’t stop them. I tried… I tried to get to him… to make them stop…” 

When Rick started talking, Carl cringed and curled up into his little ball again, shaking… ashamed… terrified… broken. The once beautiful, happy, vibrant young man, one of the strongest for his age in the group… was now thoroughly and completely broken. 

“Shh…” Michonne said softly in Carl’s ear. “Shh. You’re okay… that’s just your dad…” She looked to Rick and Daryl. “I’m going to take him a little ways away from here, try to get him calmed down.” She said and stood carrying the frightened teenager away from the two men, she knew the signs, he’d been raped, and it had been bad. She sat on the ground and held him. “Shh… shh… you’re okay honey, you’re okay.” She spoke softly, holding him and rocking him until he’d finally cried himself back to sleep, still she rocked him and held him.

“What happened?” Daryl asked Rick as he worked on helping Rick somewhat clean off, he had a pretty fair idea, but wanted Rick to confirm it. “You do all this yourself?” He asked looking at the destroyed bodies. 

Rick nodded silently. He took a breath then spoke, his voice shaking. “They raped him Daryl… They held me at gun and knife point and they raped him… they hurt him.” He was sobbing too now, like his son. 

Daryl sighed, he’d been afraid he was going to be told that, he started working to clean Rick’s face off but Rick pulled away. “I don’t fucking care about myself, Daryl…” Rick continued. “They… hurt… him. And I… couldn’t… stop it. They hurt him Daryl… they hurt my little boy… my son… they hurt him.” 

Daryl held Rick to him. “I’m so sorry Rick. I know that… must have been hard… for you to go through…” He really didn’t know what to say. There really were no words. He knew this would be a long and difficult healing process, for both Rick and Carl. “What can I do to help?” He asked gently. 

Rick shook his head and sniffed. “I don’t know… I just know, the moment they let their guards down… I lost it. They hurt him Daryl… They hurt him, and I couldn’t protect him. I couldn’t stop them… How can I face him after that? I failed my son! He didn’t deserve any of it Daryl… My son did nothing to deserve that!”

Daryl sighed and wiped Rick’s tears away. He knew what it was like, his own father had raped him more than once as well as beat him, he had the scars to prove it. “I’m so sorry Rick. I wish there was more to say.” He shook his head. “Maybe I can help, but it’s going to take a lot of time, a fuck load of patience, and a shit load of work. Right now, you both are an emotional mess, granted… that’s to be expected. And that young man is terrified of any male that comes near him, he’s scared he’ll get hurt again. It’s going to take some work bringing him out of that. And we definitely can’t take him out to where the rest of the team is until we can get him at least tolerant of males again.” He glanced over to where Michonne sat on the ground, holding Carl who appeared to be asleep. “Do you know who they were?” He asked nodding to the mutilated bodies. 

“One was called Joe…” Rick answered. “One was called Dan… I think, and I think Joe called the others… Tony, Harley and… Billy or something like that.” Daryl nodded a bit. “I’m so sorry this happened Rick.” He looked up hearing a growling hiss. “We need to get out of here, this blood bath is attracting the walkers. Rather surprised they haven’t showed up before now.” He looked over to Michonne who was already standing, Carl asleep in her arms, passed out again. They nodded and Daryl helped Rick over to her. 

“We have to go,” Daryl said to Michonne when they reached her. “Walkers are coming. I just, don’t know where exactly to take him. Be afraid to take him to camp.” “We may have to though.” Michonne said as they started walking. 

Carl whimpered, hearing male voices, but Michonne had him, he was safe. She’d kill before letting him get hurt. He sniffed a bit but slept on. “Maybe we can find a different place for a few days.” Rick suggested, trying to be strong, for Carl. “just the four of us.” “Gonna take a lot longer than a few days Rick.” Daryl said gently as they walked into the woods. He frowned a bit as he watched Carl. Any time he or Rick would speak, Carl would whimper and snuggle into Michonne’s arms for comfort. 

It took about two hours before they reached the cabin they had been staying at. “Maggie, Carol, Sasha, Rosita, Tara, Beth!” Michonne called only for the girls, knowing the moment Carl seen all of the guys, he’d freak. “Glenn, Tyreese, Bob, Abe, stay back!” She laid Carl down next to the fire and looked at Rick. “He’s lost a lot of blood Rick… He’s lucky to be alive.” 

Carol came running over. “Oh my god, what’s happened?” She asked and knelt, looking Carl over. There were scratches over most of his body. “Any of this walker inflicted?” She asked looking at Michonne. 

“No.” Michonne answered. “We need to keep the guys away from him for a while though.” Carol nodded and went to the cabin and got some soap and water. She returned and knelt beside Michonne and Carl and gently began cleaning his wounds. 

Carl looked up with a gasp from the pain and whimpered and cringed away at first until he realized it was Carol, he trusted Carol. “It’s okay Carl,” Carol said gently. “You’re going to be okay, I’m just cleaning these wounds up.” Carl whimpered but nodded silently and turned his head to resume sobbing into Michonne’s chest.

Daryl looked to Rick and sighed. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to go tell the others what happened.” On Rick’s silent nod, he stepped away and into the cabin. 

“What is it Daryl?” Glenn asked immediately. “It’s Carl.” Daryl said gently. “We’re all just going to have to be very careful and patient with him. He’s not very tolerant right now. Seems like last night, Carl and Rick ran into some trouble, guys calling themselves the Claimers. One grabbed Rick while he slept and held him at gun and knife point while another raped Carl, there were five of them and they all raped him, it’s very bad.” He looked down. “Carl didn’t go willingly, he fought. He’s sustained several cuts and scratches from the struggle.” 

“Where are these guys?” Abe asked angrily. “I’ll kill them!” Daryl shook his head. “You don’t get that chance, they’re all uh…” He paused and chuckled a bit thinking of the massacre. “They’re quite dead.”

Rick walked in, still covered in blood even though he’d tried to clean up some. “Michonne is making me clean up.” He chuckled, but that chuckle didn’t reach his eyes. They were distant, hollow. 

Daryl nodded a bit. “You’ll feel better Rick.” He said gently. “We’re here for you and him.” Rick nodded gently, patted Daryl’s shoulder as a thank you and headed into the bathroom. 

“As I said.” Daryl said gently. “They are all, quite dead and currently… most likely… being feasted on by walkers.” “When can we see him?” Tyreese asked curiously. “Not until we get him calm enough that he won’t freak out when he sees or hears a male. Right now, he can’t even handle hearing a masculine voice. He’s terrified. They broke him… completely…” 

“Broke him?” Glenn asked looking to Abe and Tyreese. “Carl? But, nothing breaks him…” He knew it had to be bad. “He shot his own mother for heaven’s sake and that only made him stronger.” Daryl nodded. “I know… but this… this broke him. Carl Grimes… will never… be the same… they made damn sure of that.”

Carl sniffed and remained pressed against Michonne as Carol cleaned and patched him up. He didn’t trust himself to speak, so he let his eyes say the thanks to Carol instead of his words. 

“You’re welcome honey.” Carol said gently. “I’m almost done here, then I want you to rest, I’ll bring a pallet for you to lay on and some warm blankets. You can lay by the fire for a while and warm up.” Carl nodded silently as Carol stood. “Maggie can you and Beth gather up some blankets for him please?” 

Maggie nodded. “Of course!” She said and she and her sister left to do just that. Carl sighed and curled up on Michonne’s lap, he knew with her, he was safe and no one would dare touch him. “Might make it a few more,” Michonne said gently. “At least he knows you’ll keep him safe.” Carol said gently. “That’s what he needs right now. Someone to place hope and trust in.” 

Michonne nodded gently. “And he knows I’ll run the first person that tries anything, through with my sword.” She kissed his head gently and rocked him and soon Carl had cried himself to sleep again.

Rick stood in the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. He sighed and washed his hands clean of the blood. He was numb right now, every move seemed almost foreign to him as he started to run the water for a shower. 

Once the water was hot, Rick got into the shower and started to clean off. The water felt good. He watched at the small pool around the drain turned from clear to pink to red as the blood was being cleaned off him. 

It took him quite some time to get all of the blood off him and out of his hair and beard. Even so, he still didn’t feel… clean exactly. How could he? After what happened with Carl… it hadn’t been enough that five strangers who had god only knew what kind of diseases, had raped his son but to force him to watch it happen with no way to stop it? And on top of that, make his son give him a blow job... Rick just couldn’t… it was just too much at once.

It took Rick several minutes until he felt at least some what cleaner and he slowly got out of the shower, towel dried, dressed in some clean clothes that no doubt Daryl had brought in, and went back out to the living room. He didn’t look at anyone, and didn’t speak but sat on the couch that was in the room, then curled up on it. 

Daryl watched his friend, the man that was like a brother to him, and sighed. He stepped over to Rick. “Can I get you anything Rick? Something to drink, something to eat?” “No.” Came Rick’s hollow reply. “I don’t want anything right now, thanks Daryl.” Daryl looked to Abe then sighed and nodded. “Alright man… well, if you do decide you’re ready to eat, just… say something.” “I will.” Rick responded in the same hollow voice. “How is he?” 

“He’s not.” Glenn said gently as he stepped over. “I went out to see if I could help at all and he absolutely freaked out.” “Michonne calmed him down.” Tyreese said gently. “She’s about the only one he seems to really trust, her and Carol. It was bad, wasn’t it?” Rick merely nodded. “Yeah.” He said in barely more than a whisper. “Yeah, it was bad.” He started shaking with sobs again. “It was bad and I couldn’t even save him.” 

Daryl pulled Rick to him. “Shh. Shh… easy brother… it’s not your fault. Some guys are just…” “Fuck nuts!” Abe spat heatedly and he meant it in more ways that one. “Well, that’s one way to put it.” Daryl said nodding.

Rick looked at Daryl. “You don’t understand do you?” He asked softly, his voice cracking with sobs. “They raped him… I am supposed to protect him… and I couldn’t. Five of them… and I couldn’t… I couldn’t stop them from hurting him. I am supposed to serve and protect… and I just… basically… let them…” 

“You are not a cop anymore Rick.” Glenn said gently, kneeling to look at Rick better. “You are a man, a man who has just been forced to watch his son go through something no one ever wants for their child. A man who was held captive while others did something awful. It’s not your fault. Carl is still going to love you. The way Daryl tells it, you did them in pretty good, you avenged your son, any dad would have. I know I would, Abe would…” 

“I’d fucking make them eat their own nuts before delivering the fatal blows.” Abe snarled, it was clear this had pissed him off. “No one would get away with touching my boy like that, and the way we hear it. They didn’t. Now, Rick I understand you’ve both been through something awful, but that young man is absolutely terrified and he’s going to need you. You are still his dad, and you are going to have to be strong for him.”

Rick sighed. “You don’t understand Abe…” He whispered. “I am his dad… I was supposed to protect him… and I didn’t… I failed him! I failed my son!” He paused and looked to Daryl then down ashamed. He stood and paced as he tried to explain. “Five strangers used my son… like some dirty cheap whore… They made him want it… they made it feel good to him! They… hurt… him… and I didn’t… stop them.” 

“You couldn’t stop them.” Daryl said gently. “Trust me, I know. When I was little… I was raped, a lot. By my father and some of his friends, cops even… I know what he’s going through, my dad forced me to watch him rape my brother once, I felt the same way you do now. That I should have saved him, but I couldn’t.” 

Rick looked at him. “It’s different though… I’m his dad! I needed to be there for him, to stop them.” “Let me work with him.” Daryl offered. “I know he doesn’t blame you… maybe I can help him.” Rick sniffed and wiped his eye. “Maybe…” He muttered 

“Right now,” Came a female voice from the doorway as Carol came in. “He’s not letting any male get very close to him at all. He’s asleep again, cried himself to sleep. That’s about all we can get him do right now. He did have some tearing from where they got to rough but he’ll heal, he almost lost it on me when I went to clean him up down there. He’s curled up like a baby in Michonne’s lap.”

Rick was silent for a time, he wiped at the tears with the back of his hand and sniffed. “They fucking hurt him!” He said with hurt and anger in his voice. 

“Rick…” Bob said gently. “It is horrible what they did, awful… terrible… But, at least he’s still alive. Gang rapes like this often are followed by the victim being killed.” 

Rick nodded. “Yeah… I know… I didn’t give them that chance… The moment they let their guards down…” He shook his head. “Rick,” Daryl said thinking a moment on the brutal way the men had been killed. “Um, didn’t you say that scientist guy at the CDC told you we’re all infected with the virus that causes us to die and come back as a walker? Is it possible that was what caused you to react the way you did?” Glenn, Abe, Tyreese and Bob all frowned in confusion. Rick looked at him a moment. “I… I guess it’s… possible.” 

Carol bit her lip, now that they were on the subject of walkers, there was a more pressing issue she needed to discuss. “Rick.” She said gently. “Are you sure there was no walkers around when all of this happened? Michonne said you were passed out when they found you two.” 

Rick shook his head. “Not… not that I know of, I put Carl in the car we were in after it was over, why?” Carol sighed. “He’s got a bite, on his neck.” “What kind of bite?” Abe asked frowning. “Walker?” Glenn asked sounding worried.

“Well, if it was deeper, I would say yes.” Carol said gently. “That’s what has me confused. It’s not really deep enough… did one of them bite him?” Rick frowned thinking. “Yeah. The leader, Joe.” He said after a moment. “Raped him, bit into his neck, and yelled the word Claimed.” 

Carol nodded. “As long as it definitely wasn’t a walker.” “The fuck were these guys?” Daryl asked. “Werewolves or something.” “A pack of hungry dogs claiming their bitch.” Abe snarled and he went to the window, glancing out at Carl and Michonne. “Bastard’s deserved to die! Damn good thing they’re dead…”

Carl slept for a couple hours before shifting in Michonne’s arms and a pain shot through his lower body and whimpered and his eyes snapped open afraid they were back. He looked at Michonne, who was still holding him in her arms, he was shaking. “Easy honey.” Michonne said gently. “It’s okay, you’re okay.” Carl sniffed and took a shaky breath. 

Carol was standing over by a fire pit and it looked like she might have been cooking. Beth and Maggie were setting at a picnic table visiting with Sasha and Glenn. When Carl’s eyes landed on Glenn he let out a whimpered and pressed himself against Michonne, shaking hard. “Shh, shh… it’s okay honey. That’s Glenn sweety, he won’t hurt you.” 

Carl turned his head and looked away from the man. He saw Rosita and Tara working on something, he couldn’t tell what. Another turn of his head and he whined, terrified. Abe was big, and scary, and looking right at him, standing beside Abe was two other men, Daryl and Rick. He cringed back and whimpered and whined, shaking hard and panting heavily as he started to panic and struggle out of Michonne’s arms.

“Shh… shh… shh.” Michonne said gently, trying to calm the frightened teen. “It’s okay honey, it’s okay… no one’s going to hurt you… shh… easy Carl… calm down honey… CAROL!”

Carol looked over just as Carl slipped out of Michonne’s grasp and scrambled to his feet and took off running. “Shit…” She cursed and bolted after him soon catching him just before he entered the unsafe, unsecure treeline. 

He dropped to his knees sobbing and shaking violently. “Shh… shh…” Carol said soothingly pulling him to her. She gently stroked his head and whispered softly to him. “Shh. It’s okay, it’s okay… Shh… you’re safe… it’s over. Shh…” She rocked gently with him. “Shh. Deep breaths Carl, it’s okay. No one here is going to hurt you.” 

Abe glanced at Rick and Daryl and sighed as Glenn turned to face them as well. Rick stood there with his eyes clenched shut, fighting with everything in him not to just run to Carl and pull him close. God he wished Lori was here right now. 

“He saw the three of us together and panicked.” Abe said gently. Daryl nodded. “Yeah. It was just too much at once…” Maggie and Beth looked at each other in silence. Rosita and Tara stepped over to Rick, Daryl, and Abe. “It’s going to take a lot of work.” 

Carl shook against Carol, sobbing hard. Why didn’t she understand? It wasn’t okay… he wasn’t okay… these men would hurt him. His eyes landed on his dad and he frowned, he could remember the look in Rick’s eyes that night… what hadn’t he stopped it? What had Carl done to deserve what his dad had allowed to happen? He sniffed and curled into Carol for protection and comfort, tears running freely down his face, he glared at Rick. The man that was supposed to help him, supposed to save and protect him, the man who just knelt on the ground and allowed five strangers used him how they wanted. He slowly raised his right hand and flashed Rick his middle finger. 

Rick instantly felt a pang of hurt when he saw the finger go up. Carl was blaming him. He himself took a shaky breath, his eyes tearing up and a few falling. “I’m sorry…” He said softly. “I’m so sorry son. Please forgive me.” Carl glared, he could just barely heard Rick’s words but he shook his head and flipped Rick off again before burying his face into Carol’s chest. 

Rick clenched his eyes tight and took several shaky breaths he was shaking now too. His son hated him. Carl blamed him and hated him, and that… hurt beyond anything that had happened in the past several hours. “I’m sorry!” He repeated before hanging his head, turning away and going back to the house. He curled up on the couch, just wanting to be left alone.

Daryl watched him go and sighed, he looked to Abe then to Michonne and Carol. “I’ll go talk to him.” He went into the house and knelt by the couch. “Rick.”   
“Go away Daryl.”  
“Rick… he didn’t mean it…”  
“Yeah he did… you saw that look… he blames me.”  
“No… he doesn’t… he’s just… hurting right now…”  
“He hates me! I should have stopped them!”  
“He doesn’t hate you, specifically. Right now, he hates all men. Thinks we’re all going to hurt him.”  
“I would never hurt my son!”  
“I know that, but right now, he doesn’t. Right now… all he knows is… you’re a guy, and… guys hurt.” Daryl said with a slight chuckle following his words. “I uh, kinda know where he’s coming from. I’ve always felt that way. Always known it. When I first met Shane, he was a fucking cop… Merle and I… we have severe issues with cops. When you showed up… I hated you. I wanted you to die. You was another cop! Probably more than ready to fuck mine or Merle’s brains out, then… I find out you fucking handcuffed my brother to a damn metal pipe on a rooftop in fucking Atlanta. I wanted to rip your heart out. My mind was playing every form of evil you could have done to my brother and I wanted you dead. Shane of course stopped me. Now though, I’ve come to trust you. I know you wouldn’t hurt me, nor did you hurt Merle. What Carl’s going through right now, is the same thing. Right now, all he sees is a man that will hurt him. Right now, he can’t think of the possibility that you won’t hurt him. He’s too emotionally hurt.” 

“How do I help him?” Rick asked rolling to look at Daryl. “What do I do? What do I say? How do I do it or say it? I want my boy back!” 

Daryl nodded. “I know you do. But Rick… this is something that… it’s just going to take time. Don’t give up on him, and… if he flips you the bird or… says something to you, don’t take it personal. He’ll come around in time.”

“Carl, honey…” Carol said gently to Carl, kissing his cheek. “Honey don’t you think that was a bit harsh?” Carl shook his head and sniffed. “You know you really upset your dad just then.” Carol said in a soft voice. 

Carl only shrugged. Carol sighed and rubbed his back until he’d cried himself to sleep again. She carried him back to Michonne and laid him in her arms. “He’s asleep.” Carl curled up in Michonne’s arms. His breathing was slow and deep signalling he was in a deep sleep, for how long she wasn’t sure. Michonne smiled and laid him on the pallet that the Greene sisters had brought and laid down beside him, holding him to her so he would know he was safe. 

Carl would end up waking several times during the day from nightmares, but he was with Michonne, the woman that would slice a man’s head off if he got to close, he was okay… he was safe. 

It was evening when he groaned and opened his eyes again. He looked around, it was just Michonne, him and Carol outside. There was now a tent set up close by. Carl didn’t speak but gently touched Michonne’s arm. He must have startled her because she jumped awake and instantly went for her sword, Carl cringed back a bit but relaxed as Michonne realized that it was he that woke her. “Hey there honey.” She said in a soft voice. Carl merely smiled. He felt calm… it was odd. He was just, calm and… numb right now.

Carol looked over hearing Michonne speak, she took a cup over and knelt. “Hey Carl.” She said gently. “I made you up some tea for when you woke up.” Carl smiled and took it, using his eyes to thank her as he took a sip of the tea. He looked around again then looked at the two women curiously. 

“Everyone’s inside honey.” Michonne said gently and Carl nodded sipping his tea again. It tasted good and soothed his throat. 

He could smell the stench of sex on his body and knew he needed a bath but just the thought of going inside with the men… he couldn’t… he just… could not so he kept quiet and sipped his tea. Michonne watched him for a moment then looked to Carol. “Why isn’t he talking?” She asked. “It’s normal.” Carol said gently. 

“Some just… stop talking after something like this. They feel as if talking will make it worse, or… happen again. He’ll open up, in time.” Carl however didn’t feel as if he’d ever be okay again. He just wanted to forget it ever happened, but he was just… so… scared.

Rick watched Carl from the cabin window. It hurt to see Carl hurting so bad and him not being able to do a thing about it. “I love you son.” He whispered as he watched, Carl looked up toward the cabin and he saw Rick looking at him he frowned and ducked his head. 

“I still love you.” Rick whispered, watching Carl hide from him. “I will always love you son…” He knew Carl couldn’t hear him but he felt he had to say it. Michonne glanced back at Rick then give him a small smile and kissed Carl’s head. She mouthed some words in Rick’s direction. “He’ll come around, it’s just going to take time.” Rick nodded, understanding what Michonne was telling him, it didn’t make it hurt less, but it helped some. He turned to look at Daryl and sighed, looking down. 

Daryl smiled and stood from the kitchen table. He went to Rick. “It’s going to be okay Rick. He’ll be okay. He’s strong, he’ll get through this.” He went to the window and looked out. 

Carl had glanced up to see if Rick was still there, he wasn’t… Daryl was. So, Carl flipped him off. Daryl frowned but responded in kind and flipped Carl off as well. Carl frowned and stuck his tongue out then rested his head against Michonne’s shoulder. 

Daryl couldn’t help but laugh. “He’s still in there.” He said chuckling as he turned around, looking amused. “Why?” Abe asked with a small frown. “Because.” Daryl explained. “He flipped me off, so… I just flipped him off in return. He stuck his tongue out at me.” Everyone laughed, even Rick got a chuckle out. “That’s my boy.” 

“He’s still there Rick.” Daryl promised. “He just needs to work through this, and we’re all going to be here to help him. We have to be.” Rick nodded. “I just hope you’re right.”

When it started getting dark, Michonne took Carl into the house, making all the guys leave for a bit. She took Carl to the bathroom. “Okay honey, I’m going to need you to take your clothes off and I’ll help you get washed okay?” 

Carl frowned, iffy on that idea. “It’s okay honey… I won’t hurt you.” It took several minutes of persuading but finally Carl stripped into nothing, his body still had scrapes, and scratches all over it and he looked away, ashamed. 

Michonne took his chin and made him look at her. “Never… be ashamed of this… you are not the one at fault. What they did to you was nothing you had done, they were bad men. They were just looking for someone to attack and it happened to be you.” She was mostly talking to keep him occupied as she set him in the water and started to bathe him. 

Carl whined and whimpered when he water hit his bottom, the tearing still made it hurt, but Michonne was gentle in her work. She only stopped once. “Okay honey… I want to clean you… um… down there… or you can…” Carl gulped but took the washcloth and started to touch himself, cleaning his package. He shuddered and whimpered, though it was his own hand touching him with a cloth between skin and skin, he could help being scared. It reminded him of them. 

Michonne was patient, watching him and letting him clean himself, though keeping an eye on him at the same time. “It’s okay honey. No one’s here to hurt you now.” 

Carl looked at her once he was done, though he didn’t feel clean. He was dirty, a dirty little slut. They had made sue he knew that. And after all, he’d done very little to stop them himself… he must have liked it right? Must have wanted or needed it? He knew he didn’t deep down, but… something had to tell them he did or else, they wouldn’t have kept on, right? He sniffed as he finished his bath, allowing Michonne to clean his back and neck then get him out and help him dry and dress. 

After Carl was dressed again, Michonne helped him to the tent. “We’re going to sleep in here honey.” She explained. “That way you’re not near any of the guys and I can keep an eye on them, and you.” Carl nodded and lay down with her help, once she was laid down, Carl instantly curled up against her. He was exhausted and he hadn’t done anything, but he was asleep in a matter of moments.


	3. Someone to Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Carl and Rick's first night back with the rest of the team, and both have trouble sleeping. Their friends try to help talk them through it.

Carl woke the next morning alone in the tent and he whimpered, scared. He scrambled to the door of the tent and cautiously peeked out, Daryl and Rick were talking to Michonne. He shrank back when Daryl glanced over. 

“Carl’s up…” Daryl said gently. He knelt and looked over at the tent. He hoped that getting lower might make him seem less scary. “Carl…” He said gently. “Want to come out and talk?” 

Carl merely frowned and flipped him off before slipping back into the tent and curling up in the far corner. Daryl stood and sighed. “If I thought it would do any good.” Abe said stepping over with some coffee for Rick. “I go in there and bust his ass.”

Michonne quickly shook her head. “He’s scared enough, that would just make it worse. Carol and I are about the only ones he’s letting near him. He’s scared to let Maggie get close because of Glenn… and Beth is Maggie’s sister which relates to Glenn. Sasha has Tyreese and Bob… and you…” She said pointing at Abe. “Are just a big red headed guy that wants to hurt him, in his mind.” 

“But we WON’T hurt him!” Rick said sadly. “I could never… I love him!” “Just keep telling him that Rick.” Michonne said to him gently. “Right now, that’s all you can do.” Daryl sighed. “Wish we could help him.” “You can help him.” Michonne told him in a gentle manner. “By just being here for him, making sure he is told you all still love him…” “I do love him.” Rick said gently. “He's my boy, how could I not?” “But he doesn't know that right now.” Glenn said coming over with Maggie. “All he knows is what he went through, guys did it to him and that we all want to do the same.” 

Rick sipped his coffee and sighed, looking over at the tent. “And that his dad did nothing to stop them.” He said gently. “You couldn't stop them.” Carol said gently as she came over with some tea. “There was one of you and how many of them? If you had tried to stop them before you did… They would have killed you, and took him for their own pleasures, and he would have went. There would have been no reason for him not to go with them, and they would have done everything they did to him that night and so much more. I'm going to take this to Carl.” She walked off toward the tent. 

When Carol was at the tent she spoke in a soft gentle tone. “Carl, honey… It's Carol. I have some tea for you… I'm going to come in okay?” She asked gently and slipped in. She sighed finding the teen pressed against the corner of the tent shaking. “Oh honey…” She moved to him and set the tea down before pulling him to her. “It’s okay honey. It's okay.” 

Carl was sobbing, shaking. “Why?” He asked her. “I don't know honey.” “Why? Why did it happen? Why did they do it? Why did it feel so good? Why did they make me want it? Why couldn't I fight them? Why didn't dad stop them?” 

“He tried honey.” Carol said gently. “You know they would have killed your dad if he had done to much, and you would still be with them.” Carl buried his face into her chest. “It hurt… And… And it… Felt good…” “I know honey.” Carol said gently. “I know it did.”   
“Why did it feel so good?”  
“I wish I knew honey.” Carol told him as she stroked his hair. “But it does sometimes. And with you being a teenager, your body is already going through hormonal changes, and that made it feel even better to you even though you didn't want it to.”

“I hated it.” Carl sobbed. “All of it… Hated it… Wanted it… It made me sick… Angry that my body responded to it. I didn't want to like it. I didn’t want to respond to it… but I did. I DID!” He practically screamed the last two words. “I hate my body… I hate everything about it! I hate him for not stopping them! I hate them for doing it!”   
“It’s going to be okay honey.”  
“It’s never going to be okay! I close my eyes and… they are all I see! Their laughing faces… calling me a… such a… good little slut… maybe I am… I certainly didn’t do much to stop them. I can still feel their hands on me… touching… rubbing… their mouths and tongues, licking me… each one entering me… each one getting off inside me… all but one and he… HE!” Carl yelled the last word pointing outside to mean his dad. “DIDN’T DO A DAMN FUCKING THING!”

Rick cringed hearing Carl’s words, knowing he was talking about him. He clenched his eyes tight and he set his tea cup aside before going back toward the house. As he did he passed Carl’s tent. “I tried son… I tried… I’m so sorry… I love you.” “I hate you!” Carl responded. 

Right now he was just angry at everything. “Carl…” Carol said almost sharply. “Now that is enough!” She could tolerate his being confused and upset, she understood his hurt and even his anger at them for what they did. She could not and would not take his telling his dad he hated him. “He killed them to protect you! Even knowing they could easily have killed him before he took the first one down. He murdered every single one of them! For YOU! Now I understand you’re angry. I understand you’re hurting right now. Hell, I even understand your scared and confused! But your dad quite literally risked his life to put them down for what they did and I do not want to ever hear you say you hate him again! Do you hear me!?” 

Carl looked at Carol like she’d slapped him. He looked down and took a shaky breath before silently taking the tea from her and taking a sip. It was several moments before he spoke again. When he did it was soft, almost too soft but Carol heard him well enough. “Just want to feel like I have someone I can trust again.” 

“I know honey. It’s going to take time… is there any one of the guys you might be able to trust?” Carol asked but sighed when Carl thrust his head from side to side and started shaking. She had felt like maybe they were starting to make some progress, but even the mention of bringing one of the guys near him sent him into a frenzy. 

This was no good, even Carol who had been abused most of her marriage to Ed, knew that much. “What about… Glenn? You know he wouldn’t hurt a fly.” She offered but Carl whimpered and shrunk back. “Honey, I want to help you, but you have to let me help you. What if… we bring Michonne in here… you know she won’t let anyone touch you.”

There was several more minutes that passed and Carl sipped on his tea. “I’m scared.” He admitted. “I know honey… I know you are, and you have that right. But now, it’s time to let us help you overcome this. It’s time to let it make you stronger. A little bit at a time. You know you can trust me and Michonne… You know Maggie and Beth won’t hurt you. No one here would. Everyone loves you Carl. No one blames you for this. Let us help.” 

Carl remained silent then slowly he nodded. “B-but… o-only Glenn!” He said gently then scooted to the back of the tent and focused on sipping the tea. Carol nodded and slipped her head out of the tent. “Michonne, Glenn… can you both come here please?” 

Michonne was over to them and in the tent in a matter of seconds, her sword drawn so that everyone knew not to mess with her and when she said enough that it better be obeyed. She pulled Carl into her lap and held him. “Okay.” She said nodding to Carol and Carol opened the tent flap. “Come in Glenn. Be slow… no sudden moves.” 

Glenn knelt and cautiously slipped into the tent. Michonne felt Carl’s body immediately react, shaking violently and she could hear the soft whimpers coming from his throat as well as feel him trying to get out of her grasp. He shook his head. “No…. please…” 

“Shh…” Michonne whispered into his ear. “You’re okay sweety, you’re okay…” She raised the sword so that it was just touching Glenn’s chest. “That’s far enough Glenn.” She cautioned and Glenn stopped. “Carl…” He said softly. “It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe here with me, with Michonne, Carol… we’re not going to let anyone hurt you again.”

Carl whimpered softly, he couldn’t hardly make himself look at Glenn. “Shh…” Michonne soothed into his ear. “You’re doing good Carl… You’re doing really good. Show them they did not win this. You’re doing great…” 

Carl bit his lip, he didn’t feel like he was doing great. His entire being inside was screaming to get away, to run as hard and fast as he could. “Shhh… shh…” Michonne continued whispering to Carl. “You’re doing great honey.” 

“He’s terrified.” Glenn said gently. “Isn’t he?” Michonne nodded. “Yes.” She said gently. “Everything inside him is ready… If I was to let him go right now, he’d be taking off on us. Easy Carl… Honey… no… you’re okay… you’re okay… you’re doing very good.” She nodded at Carol feeling Carl’s heart racing. “Okay…” Carol said in a gentle tone. “We’ll work him up to being comfortable with you first. Once we know he can tolerate your presence we’ll move on… maybe Bob… then up… I think we’ll save Daryl, Abe, and Rick for last.”

“That better be enough for now Glenn…” Michonne said gently. “He’s not going to tolerate much more.” Glenn nodded gently. “You can do this Carl. We love you!” He said before slipping out of the tent. 

Once Glenn was gone Carl sort of slumped against Michonne, panting hard as if he’d been holding his breath. He had always trusted Glenn, there had never been a reason not to, now… he didn’t feel as if he could. He whimpered a bit and nuzzled himself against Michonne. He took deep shaky breaths trying to calm down. “I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I just…” “Shhh.” Michonne said gently and kissed his head. “It's okay honey. No one blames you.” Carl sniffed and wiped his eyes. 

Glenn went back out to where Abe and Daryl were standing. “How did he do?” “For what he's been through, he did good.” Glenn said gently. “He can't handle much but… He was at least in the same area as me and took it decently. He's scared to death.” Daryl sighed. “I want to help him. So bad.” He said shaking his head. “We all do.” Tyreese said and Bob nodded in agreement.

“Michonne…” Carl said gently, that night as he lay in the tent with her.  
“Yes honey?”  
“What they did… it was wrong… right?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then, why did it feel so good?”  
Michonne sighed. “That's how rape sometimes is honey. Would you like to talk to me about what they did to you?” Carl shook his head violently. “No… No please. I can't…” Michonne nodded. “You can tell me when you're ready to.” She told him and he gave her a nod of consent.

Rick curled up on the couch, he just wanted to be left alone. His son hated him, even though he had killed the guys, his son hated him for it. “I tried Lori…” He muttered. “I tried to help him… I tried to save him! I did what I knew to do… And he hates me for it. I wish you were here to tell me what to do! He needs help and I don't know how.”  
“There is nothing you can do Rick!” 

Rick looked up and at the speaker. “He's my son Bob… I have to help him! I love that boy.”   
“It's going to take him a while.”  
“I don't want it to take a while! I want my son back!”  
“I know you do. But that's not going to happen until he has had time.”  
“I want to help him and he hates me.”  
“He hates everything and everyone right now.”  
“I love him…”  
“I know. There is some good news though.” Bob said gently and sat beside Rick. “He was able to be in the same tent as Glenn for about… 5 minutes.” 

Rick nodded. “That’s something then.”   
“Try to get some rest Rick. Maybe things will be better in the morning.” Rick nodded. “I hope so. Thanks Bob.” “You’re welcome Rick. Try to get some rest.” Bob told him before heading to where he’d be sleeping. “You too.” Rick said gently.

Carl slept, that’s about all that could be said… he slept. It wasn’t a good sleep either. He had horrible dreams. Each one was basically the same. The group calling themselves the Claimers, touching him, rubbing him, stroking him, kissing on him, sucking and licking him in places they had no business touching. Each one laughing when his body responded to what they were doing to him. His dad… his dad cumming in his mouth when he was forced to give his dad a blow job. More than once Carl woke up screaming and drenched in a cold sweat.

Each time this would happen, Michonne would wake as well. “Carl?” She would say in a soft and very gentle manner. “Honey, it’s okay… it’s just a dream sweetheart. You’re okay.” Each time, she would pull him close against her and simply hold him while he sobbed into her chest until he fell back asleep only to repeat the process.

Rick, inside the cabin wasn’t doing much better. He would wake several times after having the scenes replaying over and over in his mind. Carl being thrown on the ground and the two words that sealed his fate for the night, “Fuck him!” How he’d wanted to kill the men hurting his boy.

He sobbed in his sleep, thrashing around in real time as if trying to get to his son once again. His screams starting out only in his dream then slowly transitioning to where he was screaming out for his son to be spared. 

Rick woke several times, like his son outside in the tent, drenched in a cold sweat and shaking horribly. “Carl…” He whispered mostly to himself and curled up as tight as he could and like his son was doing outside, he cried himself to sleep only to end up repeating this a few minutes later. In total, Carl and Rick both probably only got one or two hours of sleep that night.   
Carl, nor Rick had told anyone what Carl had been made to do to his dad, and Carl for one didn’t want to face it. Not with the way Rick had responded to it, basically fucking his mouth until he’d exploded. It was sick, disgusting… this was his own dad for fuck’s sake! 

Daryl would wake anytime he heard Rick scream. He got up on one of them and went into Rick to find his friend, the man that was like a brother to him, setting up and sobbing; rocking back and forth. “Rick… eazy brother.” He said gently as he sat by Rick. 

Rick looked at him, tears running down his cheek. “Make it stop.” He whispered. “Please. I can’t take it… all I see is… them… using him… hurting him… I can hear his cries. Begging them to stop, begging me to stop them. Those sick, disgusting moans that they forced out of him. The cries of both pleasure and pain. They hurt my boy Daryl. And I did nothing to stop them!”

“Dammit Rick!” Daryl snapped. “You couldn’t stop them! If you had, you would be dead, and they would probably still be fucking him! Is that what you want?” 

“Of course not…”Rick said looking like he’d been slapped. “You should know that. You don’t know everything that went on Daryl! There is so much more to it! And I didn’t really fight it… I just… let it happen… because I thought… Daryl… I thought… That by doing so… they would stop… but they didn’t…” 

Daryl sighed and stood, he paced a bit. “What happened?” He asked curiously. Rick bit his lip and took a scared, shaky breath. “They… They forced Carl to suck me off and I came into his mouth and he was forced to swallow.” He finally said it and looked down. “And Daryl I… I fucking loved it! When his soft.. Wet, warm lips wrapped around me, that warm wet mouth… his soft gentle wet tongue… I lost it and… Daryl he hates me because I fucked his mouth while they fucked his ass! I did it! I held his head in place and bucked my hips… forcing him to take it!”

Daryl looked at him dumbfounded for a while. It was several moments before he spoke. “Oh…” He said softly. “Wow… um… I… damn Rick… I had no idea…” He sighed and went over to Rick and sat beside him. “Yeah… that will definitely play hell on Carl’s mind. Shit… Well… I’ll try to talk to Michonne in the morning if you want me too.”

Rick shook his head. “No.” He told him in a gentle tone. “She uh… I don’t… I don’t want everyone to know. Dammit Daryl.. I’m his dad… I shouldn’t have… but when I feel a mouth that… that warm and… soft and… wet and…” He bit his lip to stifle the moan. “My mind went blank… I had no control! And I…”Daryl placed a finger to Rick’s lips to sht him up. “Hush now! It’s over. It’s all over!”

“It’s like Carl said Daryl!” Rick told him. “It’s never going to be over! I am going to live with the guilt of what I did for the rest of my life! And my son hates me for what I did to him! And I don’t blame him. It should have never happened!”

Daryl sat there just listening. He nodded silently. “I do understand Rick. Believe me I do! But it’s going to be okay, he’ll come around. He’s got someone to trust, that’s the important thing. That alone will help him. And, Michonne’s already working with him.”

Outside Michonne was currently trying to calm Carl down from a traumatizing nightmare. “Easy honey. It’s okay. Shh… it’s okay… it was just a nightmare.” Carl was terrified but Michonne was slowly calming him down. “Why? Why did he do it!?” He asked softly. 

Michonne sighed. “Honey, you knew he had no choice… if he hadn’t let them they would have killed him and still had you. We would have never seen you again.” 

“No!” Carl countered shaking his head. “It’s not that… it… it’s… never mind.” He said softly and curled up again. He didn’t want to talk about it. He was ashamed of it. His own dad had fucked his mouth, it made him sick just to think about it. “I just want to go to sleep and not see it happening again!” 

Michonne sighed. “Honey, you need to talk about this.” She urged him. “No.” Carl retorted. “I… I can’t… I can’t talk about it! You don’t understand! I can not talk about it! It hurts… it hurts too much! I close my eyes and I see them, feel them… feel…” He buried his head into her chest and started crying again. 

Back in the cabin Rick stood and paced, restless. “I know he’s going to think I liked him doing it.” Daryl took a breath. “Did you?” He asked softly and Rick stopped and turned to him. He didn’t answer right off. “Not…” Rick bit his lip and looked down. “I…” “Did… you… like… Carl… giving… you… a… blowjob? Yes… or no!?” Daryl asked almost sharply. “Yes alright!?” Rick answered.

Daryl looked at him. “Go on…” Rick swallowed and sighed looking away. “I fucking loved it! I love blow jobs Daryl… one of the quickest ways to get me going is a mouth around my dick! And as ashamed as I am it say it. Carl… my own son… was no different! I wanted it… I… I loved it! It felt good and I fucking lost control with him! I fucking held his head still and dammit Daryl… I fucked his mouth! I forced him to swallow my cum! It’s no fucking wonder he hates me!” 

There was a long stretch of silence as Daryl processed these words. “Let me ask this…” He said after several minutes had passed. “If given the chance would you ever do it again… or want to?” He wanted to be sure, for Carl’s safety. He knew how addictive it could be. He knew that from experience thanks to his father.

Rick looked at him. “Would I want to fuck my son? Would I want to feel his lips around me again? Would I want to see that defeated look as I’m holding his head down so he can’t pull off until I shoot my load down his throat?” He asked. “No Daryl. I would never want to do that to my son. I DIDN’T want to do that to my son.”

Daryl nodded. “I just wanted to make sure.” He said gently and smiled. “Rick, what those guys did was awful, and I know it made you sick when Carl’s lips wrapped around your…” He paused and took a breath. “But you are not the monster here. Would you like to know how I know?” “How?” Rick asked frowning, because right now, he felt like one.

Daryl smiled and stood, he went over and took Rick by the hands, leading him back to the couch and set him down, then sat down with him. “Because, of how you answered. Rick, my father was a bastard. He abused me, I’ve told you that. He abused me in many ways.” “I know.” Rick said gently.

“Then you understand why I had to ask.” Daryl said gently. “Yeah.” Rick said nodding. “I do. I just… I lost control Daryl and I know I can’t ever take that back. As much as I want to.” “Did you think of Lori while he was doing it?” Daryl asked. 

“Honestly,” Rick said gently. “No. I don’t think I was thinking about anyone or anything. I just know that when it happened I lost control and… and yes, I liked it. I liked him doing it. I’m not proud of that!”

Daryl nodded. “I had to make sure Rick.” Rick nodded. “I know, for Carl’s safety. I love him Daryl, I would never want to hurt him! It killed me to watch what they were doing to him, then to… He didn’t deserve it Daryl.”

“I know.” Daryl said gently. “And I’m sorry it happened. I wish there was something that I could do or say to make it easier on you. This is just something that is going to have to be worked through on both yours and Carl’s parts.”

“But how do we work on it when he won’t even come near me?” Rick asked sadly. “I never wanted to hurt him. I didn’t want to do it Daryl… I love my boy… you know I wouldn’t…” But he was stopped mid sentence when Abe came in. He looked down.

“Rick.” Abe said in a short tone. “Now, you have got to be strong for him! You can not cave into this. That boy needs you now more than ever and if you let what happened eat at you like this, you won’t be any good to him.”

“You don’t understand Abe!” Rick said with a sigh. “You all wasn’t told everything. And I’m not going into it again. I can’t. I just can’t.” He shook his head and got up. “I need to go take a shower. I’ll be back.”

“Rick.” Daryl said gently and stood as well, turning Rick to look at him. “No amount of showering will help. It’s not going to wash the mental images away, the emotional dirt… water can not wash that way. Believe me, I know. I’ve tried it before myself.”

Rick looked at him then at Abe and back. “Make him love me again.” He cried. “Make my son forgive me and love me again!” “I…” Daryl started to say then sighed. “I can’t Rick. I can’t make him love or forgive you. He just.” He sighed. “He has to work through it himself. In the meantime the most you can do is just keep telling him you love him.”

Outside Carl sniffed having just woke up again from another nightmare. “Make them stop!” He screamed. “Make them leave me alone!” He was shaking this time, crying uncontrollably, and whimpering. He was scared. “Please, just make it stop!” 

“Easy honey.” Michonne said gently. “Easy… it’s okay honey, it’s okay… They’re gone honey… they’re gone.” She tried to pull Carl to her but he backed away. 

“No touch… no touch… please no touch!” Carl cried, pressing himself against the back of the tent, he shook hard. “He helped them…” He cried. “He helped.. He betrayed me and helped them!”

Michonne frowned in confusion. “Who helped honey?” She asked softly and gently stroked his hair only to have him pull back again. “No… no…” Carl whimpered shaking his head. “Please…” Michonne sighed. “Honey, I can’t help you if I don’t know who did what to help them.” 

Carl didn’t speak for quite some time. He just set against the corner of the tent rocking back and forth and shaking violently, sobbing softly. When he did speak, his voice was soft, scared, defeated. “Dad.”

“Honey…” Michonne said gently. “Sweetheart, you dad did what he had to in order to protect you for worse. He couldn’t stop them.” “No…” Carl whimpered. “No… he helped them.” He argued and Michonne sighed getting more and more confused. “What do you mean he helped them?” She frowned deeply. “Carl, honey. Did they make you and your dad do stuff together?”

Carl was silent for a time then half nodded and half shook his head. “Yes.” He answered. “And no.” Michonne nodded. “Okay,” she said gently feeling like they might finally be getting somewhere. “Care to elaborate on that for me so I have some idea what we’re looking at here?” 

There was another stretch of silence. Carl didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want to tell them what he dad had done. Deep down, he knew his dad hadn’t wanted to, right now though, he couldn’t think about that. Right now, all he knew was that his dad had helped them. “He… Michonne… he… dad… came… in my… in my mouth.” 

Michonne’s eyes went wide. “He did what?” She asked and frowned. “Why? Why did he do that honey?” She was just trying to make sense out of what happened, not to condemn Rick. 

“One of them…” Carl explained in a soft voice. “One of them was… he was b-bucking into me. R-raping me… and several others b-brought dad over, pulled his pants down and… and he put his… he put it in my mouth and… and then…” He clenched his eyes tight and shook his head violently, curling up on his side and shaking hard with sobs. 

“Oh honey.” Michonne’s words were soft and she sighed. “Honey I am so sorry.” She pulled Carl to her and simply held him. “You know your dad didn’t want to do that right honey?” She asked him gently.

Carl simply shook and sobbed. He didn’t utter a single word after that. All he could see in his mind was his dad, feeling his dad losing control, holding his head still, forcing him to take it. “Make it stop.” He begged. “Please.”

“I wish I could honey.” Michonne said softly and kissed his head. “Believe me I wish I could. But trust me when I say, your dad did not want to do that to you. I may not know Rick that well yet, but… I know him well enough to know that much. He loves you with his entire being.”

Carl wanted to believe that, he really did. Right now though, he didn’t think he’d ever believe it. It was just not possible. He was sure his dad was ashamed of him, hated him, wanted to disown him probably. “I hate it!” He told Michonne gently. “I hate feeling this way but…”

“I know honey.” Michonne said nodding her head gently to him. “I know. You want to believe what I’m telling you, but it’s hard isn’t it?” She kissed his head when he nodded. “I know sweetheart. Did, did they make you and your dad, you know. Do anything other than what you just told me?”

Carl looked at her for a moment, then frowned a bit, thinking. “Not that I can remember. I don’t think so, unless it happened after I passed out finally, but I don’t think it did.” It all seemed fuzzy at times. Like everything was jumbled together. 

Michonne nodded gently. “I’m sure that would be something you would remember if it had happened.” She told him in a gentle manner. 

“Tired.” Carl said softly and he yawned. “But everytime I close my eyes, all I see is them. I don’t want to see that. I don’t want to feel them touching me anymore. I don’t like it. I don’t like the way my body responded to them. I don’t like being scared. Glenn has never hurt anyone in his life, I don’t really know Abe. Daryl… I love him like a second dad almost. Bob and Tyreese seem okay… dad… I know he didn’t want to but… I just can’t help feeling like… I don’t know, like they all want to do the same thing. And I hate that. I really do.”

Michonne smiled. Finally, they were getting somewhere. “You young man are on your road to recovering from this ordeal.” She told him and hugged him.

Carl frowned a bit, confused. “What do you mean?” He asked with his head tilted in his confusion. He didn’t feel like he was making any progress.

“You just sat right there and admitted to me that you KNOW that not a single one of those guys inside are going to hurt you.” Michonne explained to him. “That’s a big step right there. Even if you’re still scared to be around them, which is understandable, you’ve at least admitted that you know they won’t hurt you. Would you like to try going around them today? We don’t have to do it all at once, just one at a time or however you feel most comfortable.”

Carl seemed to think on this. “I might try.” He agreed. “But, I’m not sure how well it will work. I’m just so scared and, I know dad’s got to be disappointed. How could he not be?”

“He’s not.” Michonne promised. “Because he loves you and he knows you didn’t have a choice in the matter, that you did your best to fight but honestly everyone knows a 5 on 2 battle is a very unfair one, even if both sides have guns and knives. You two were snuck up on, and attacked. Now it’s time to show them, they are absolutely not going to win this.”

“Still scared.” Carl told her in a soft voice. He sniffed. “I just want to feel safe again. I want to be able to look at everyone and not be afraid they’re going to touch me.”

“I know honey.” Michonne said gently. “It will be okay, it’s just going to take you some time. We’ll start working tomorrow with Glenn and see about working up to the rest. We go slow, there’s no need for us to rush on this. But, you’ll get there.” She kissed his head gently and smiled at him. “Have I ever lied to you?”

Carl shook his head. “No.” He answered. “And I know you wouldn’t. And… well I… just… thank you Michonne. For, you know, being patient with me and helping me through this.”

“You’re welcome honey.” Michonne said gently. “Try to get some more rest okay? I’ll be right here. I’m not leaving you.” She wanted to be sure he understood this.

Carl nodded and yawned. “Okay Michonne… goodnight, and… thanks again.” He said before letting his eyes close once more.


	4. Road to Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl finds help in an unusual way.

Carl’s eyes fluttered open sometime after the sun came up. He looked around and smiled, Michonne was right there with him, just as she promised she would be. He watched her for a time. She was going through one of his comics. “Morning.” He said softly.

Michonne looked up from the comic, an Avengers comic. “Good morning Carl!” She said and set the comic down. “Did you rest at all?” She had stayed up most of the night with him and was exhausted, but trying not to let him see that.

Carl gave her a half nod. “I think so, that last time anyway. After I got everything out.” He said and moved to her, laying his head in her lap and sighing before picking up the comic she'd been looking at. “Oh! Yeah! This is a good one!” He began to read it to her, finishing off the story before looking at her. Michonne smiled. “That was very nice Carl.” Carl smiled. “Thanks. It’s one of my favorites. But, then, they all are. Be-because good always triumphs over evil.” 

Michonne smiled gently, she knew the look in Carl’s face and pulled him against her. “It’s okay honey. It’s okay.” Carl started shaking again. “Wh-why? Why can’t that be in real life? N-not just in comics and… and television? W-why did evil win?” He was sure he’d be okay now, but it just wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair that they had won.

“Honey,” Michonne said in a gentle voice. “Evil didn’t win. Good won out, even though it doesn’t really seem like it right now. Honey, your dad killed them, all five of them, by himself. Even though he knew, he KNEW they could have killed him in a second. He was so outraged, his son had been hurt and all he could think of was to end the ones that hurt his boy. That’s the only thing he could do.”

Carl sniffed and nodded silently. “I’m still scared.” “I know honey.” Michonne said with a nod of her head. “I know you are but, it’s going to be okay now. They’re dead and no one is going to hurt you like that again, not if we can help it. Okay? Do you trust me?” She smiled when Carl nodded. “Good, now. You want to try seeing Glenn?”

There was a long pause before Carl took a deep breath and spoke. “Okay. I-I’ll try.” Michonne nodded. “Want me to go get him or you want to try going out there today?” Carl bit his lip at the question. Part of him wanted to go out there, with everyone. He wanted to prove that he hadn’t been defeated, that Superman still lived so to speak. But yet, a part of him was screaming against it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath once more, swallowed the lump in his throat and dressed. “I-I want to try. I have to. Please?” 

Michonne smiled and nodded, unzipping the tent flap. “Lead the way.” Carl nodded and poked his head out, there was no one outside except Carol. He slowly slipped out of the tent, having to shield his eyes from the sun for a moment. “C-Carol?” He said with a questioning tone as Michonne slipped out behind him.

Carol looked over from the firepit and smiled. “Carl. It’s nice to see you, how do you feel honey?” Carl shrugged. “O-okay, I guess… w-where is everyone?” He looked around a bit. “Most are still inside,” Carol said, “Daryl went to catch us a deer. He and I are going to fix deer chili today, if he can get one. You want me to go get anyone in particular?” 

Carl looked at Michonne then to the cabin, then to Carol. He thought of all she’d went through, Ed’s abuse, losing her daughter… he took a breath and shook his head. “No… I-I need to do this. Evil can not be allowed to win. It, it’s not right. That’s not… not how it works.” Carol glanced at Michonne then nodded. “Okay sweetheart. Go on in then.” 

“I’ll be right behind you honey.” Michonne promised and Carl nodded then took another deep calming breath, let it out slowly and headed toward the cabin. He paused, his hand on the doorknob, shaking. He whimpered. “I…” “It’s okay honey.” Michonne promised. “I’m right here, I’ll be with you. It’s going to be okay. You can do this. You’re Superman and this is your Kryptonite. You have to fight its effects. You can do it.”

With Michonne’s encouragement, Carl turned the doorknob and pulled the door open. Glenn and Abe was in the kitchen area, Bob and Tyreese setting in the living room, he frowned… where was his dad? He felt Michonne’s hand on his shoulder. “H-Hey.” He said in a soft voice. Glenn looked over first. “Carl… it’s good to see you out and about!”

Bob looked to Tyreese and smiled, nodding. “Hey girls! Come see who’s just come in!” He called and Sasha, Maggie, and Beth came in from one of the back rooms. “Carl!” Maggie said smiling. “Hey Carl!” Beth said happily. Sasha didn’t speak, but she smiled and nodded at him. Carl smiled gently. 

Abe smiled and stepped into the living room, Carl backed up a bit, against Michonne. “H-hey Abe.” He said though his voice was shaking. “Hey kid.” Abe said with a smile and knelt so he would hopefully seem less frightening to Carl. “W-where’s…?” Carl went to ask but Glenn smiled and answered before he could finish. “He’s in taking a shower. He should be out soon.” 

Carl nodded and stepped in, Michonne following closely and shut the door behind her. Carl glanced back at the door and whimpered a bit but forced himself to relax. He nodded. “I’ll… I’ll wait.” He said gently. “You hungry?” Glenn asked gently. “N-not really.” Carl answered shaking his head. “Thanks anyway. I- I am kind of thirsty though.” “You can have water or tea… or hell, coffee if ya want it.” Abe offered. “Tea sounds good.” Carl answered nodding. “Thank you.” Abe nodded and went into fix up some tea for Carl.

Rick came into the living room, still drying his hair, he didn’t have a shirt on but he did have some jeans on. He looked around then saw Carl and his lips parted only slightly, it was plain to see that he was resisting with everything in him, the urge to run and grab his son into a tight hug. “Hey Carl.” He said softly. Carl looked over at him, he didn’t speak, he was shaking, his mind replaying what happened and his eyes closed. “D-dad.” He said finally, and a tear slipped out of one eye. “I’m so sorry son.” Rick whispered, but he knew Carl heard him. “Dad’s so sorry! Please forgive me.”

Carl slowly opened his eyes again. He wiped a few tears out of his eyes and saw the ones in his dad’s. He saw the hurt in his dad’s eyes, some of that hurt he knew he had caused. He could still almost taste the bitter salty taste of his dad’s cum as it spilled into his mouth, he could still feel his dad’s hands holding his head in place, as his dad’s hips thrust forward into his mouth. He could feel one of the rapists bucking and thrusting into him, hear the others laughing. He shook hard, and on the very faint, reassuring touch of Michonne’s fingers to his shoulders he bolted from the room, back outside and into the trees. He had to get away, as far and as fast as he could possibly get. He couldn't stay here, he just couldn't handle it. He was scared, hurt, confused, angry, upset… 

So many emotions were built up inside Carl’s body and mind, he had to get away from them. After running for several minutes, until he couldn't run anymore, Carl ended up climbing up in a tree and curling up on a thick branch about half way up. He sniffed then started crying, hard. 

Rick took a breath and sighed, tears slipping out of his eyes. “Oh Carl.” He whispered. He just stood there for the longest time, unable to make his body move. He ducked his head. “He hates me.” He muttered to no one in particular. He went to the window and looked out at the tent sighing. “My boy hates me.” He moved to the couch and curled up.

“Rick,” Glenn said gently as he stepped over to the couch. “Could it be that you maybe sort of look like them and he’s associating that with what happened?” Rick shook his head. “No.” He said with a sigh, his voice hollow and full of hurt, pain, and sadness. “No, it’s not that. Something happened that, that shouldn’t have. Something even worse than my son being gang raped by five different strangers that may have had who knows what kind of diseases.” “What could be worse than that?” Abe asked with a frown.

Rick remained silent for a long time. He didn’t want to tell them what he’d been made to do. “Rick,” Michonne said after several minutes. “Not talking about it does not mean it didn't happen, and you nor Carl have anything to be ashamed of.” “He told you.” Rick said, his voice soft. 

Michonne nodded. “He did.” She admitted. “After having a nightmare about it. I got him to talk about what happened.” Rick sighed. “He didn't deserve that. None of it, but especially not that.” He got up and went back to the window.

“What happened Rick?” Abe asked frowning as he stepped over and put a hand on Rick's shoulder. “You can tell us, we're not going to think any less of either of you.” 

A stretch of silence went by and Rick took a breath and let it out slowly. He began pacing back and forth in front of the couch as he tried to explain. “When Carl was being attacked, two of the bigger, stronger men dragged me over to him, the one hurting him at the time had him on his knees, doggy style. They got my pants down and…” He paused took a breath and continued. “And they made him start giving me a blow job.” 

“You lost it on him.” Tyreese said gently. Rick nodded. “Yeah. Held his head down, almost choked him. I just needed it. I forced him to swallow. I did that, not them… Me! Always loved blow jobs and it was no different with Carl. I didn't mean to do it. It just, happened.” He looked down. 

Abe sighed and stepped back over to Rick and gently laid a hand on his shoulder. “Rick, all of us guys… Except maybe Glenn, ‘cause let’s face it, he’s still a little to wet behind the ears… Would have done the exact same thing you did. Yes, it's worse because it was your son, but at least that’s all they made you two do… It could have been much…” His sentence was cut off when Carol ran in.

“Rick… Carl ran off. Into the trees!” Carol said panting a bit as she got into the living room. 

“I’ll go start looking!” Michonne said gently. While she left to do that, Glenn looked at Rick. “He'll be okay… If Michonne doesn't find him, Daryl will.” 

Rick shook his head. “Daryl doesn’t even know.” 

“He will.” Glenn said gently. “Sometimes I think Daryl’s part walker himself.” 

Rick chuckled and nodded. “I know what you mean.” He said gently. “I’ve wondered that too on occasion.” 

Carl didn’t want to be found, he wanted to stay where he was, where he knew he was safe. He curled up as best he could to rest. He was still exhausted and didn’t know why. He knew his actions had to have hurt his dad, but he just, couldn’t… not yet. He could not face it! He couldn’t face his dad after what had happened. 

Rick sighed softly and sniffed a bit. Carl was hurting he knew, but so was he. 

“We’ll find him Rick.” Abe promised just as Daryl came in. “Who wants to be the one?”

Daryl had bagged a decent 6 point stag, he’d left it out by the fire to skin but he had something for Carl. He went to the tent but found it empty so he’d went into the cabin. He frowned at Abe’s question. “What’s happened?”

“Carl ran off Daryl.” Glenn said in a gentle tone.

“Ran off?” Daryl asked confused. “What do you mean he ran off? Where did he go?”

“He came in.” Abe said. “Rick was in the shower, he came out and… Carl ran.”

“He hates me.” Rick said in a saddened voice.

Daryl let out a growling sigh. He slung his crossbow back over his shoulder. “That does it! I’m going to find him, and when I do, we are going to have a little talk!” He said and walked out.

“One of them will find him Rick.” Sasha promised. “They both are great trackers.”

“I hope you’re right.” Rick said. “I just want my boy back.”

Carl meanwhile had moved around a lot, trying to find the best place to hide that would be hard for the two trackers to find, including running through a stream to cover his tracks. 

He found a small cave hidden behind some trees, his shirt getting caught on a limb and tearing a bit as he slipped in and crouched at the back of the cave watching the only entrance there was. Cold now, and exhausted, he quickly curled up and fell asleep.

Michonne followed the shoe trail to a tree where Carl had climbed up, but he wasn’t there. She drew her sword hearing something behind her. 

 

Daryl had been following a different set of tracks to the same tree, crossbow raised ad loaded as he stepped out finding Michonne with her sword drawn, he lowered his bow. “He’s trying to throw us off.”

Michonne nodded. “Yes. We have to find him Daryl.”

“We will, just keep looking!” Daryl said and with that, he walked off. “I'm not stopping until I find him! I let Sophia down, I am not letting him suffer the same fate!”

Carl slept a while before jolting awake to hearing a familiar female voice. He sat up and looked around. “Mom?” He asked then smiled seeing her standing not far away. “Mom…”

“Carl.” Lori spoke her son’s name quietly. “Son you need to go back.” 

“I can’t.” Carl told her. “I can’t go back. Not, not after…”

“Not after your father saved your life?” Lori asked gently. “Go back, he needs you and you need him.”

“I don't need him!” Carl snapped. “He don’t need me! What would he need me for, to suck him off again?”

“Honey,” Lori said in a soft gentle voice. “You know he had no choice in that. Your dad loves blowjobs, has ever since we started getting sexual, he couldn’t help how he responded.” 

Carl sighed but said nothing. He sniffed an looked down, then back up as another voice pierced the air.

“Carl, son, don't be like this. Your dad needs you!” 

“He does not.” Carl said looking at the person. “He doesn't need me Dale. Not unless he wants to fuck me like they did.”

“Carl Grimes!” Said another voice almost sharply. “Now that is enough!”

Carl glared a the speaker. “What would you know about it Shane?” He asked sounding angry and upset. “You lied to us! You told us dad had died! You fucked mom and got her pregnant! Don’t get me wrong, I love Judith! You then tried to kill dad after he came back to us!”

“That was totally different!” Shane said. “Your dad would never want to hurt you. He loves you more than life itself. He fought this world just to get to you and one bad thing happens and you shove him away.”

“Fuck off Shane!” Carl snapped an watched as Shane’s form disappeared. Carl looked around. Was he just imagining everyone? They all seemed so real. His mom… Dale… Merle who was suddenly standing on his left. “Merle!”

“Just what in the hell do you think you are doing out here alone kid?” Merle asked curiously.

“I had to go Merle!” Carl told him. “I couldn't, I… I can’t face him.”

“And just why in the hell not?” Merle asked shortly. “I was forced to rape my own brother! I'm not talking just a blow job! I'm talking all out rape! Yes Carl! Me! Our drunk as father beat the shit out of us both, more than once. Forced to fuck my own brother! Never once did I pull away from him. Never! He and I love each other, even if we sometimes don’t act like it. I was there for him when he needed me most.”

Carl listened to Merle and sniffed, looking down. “It scared me.”

“Yeah.” Merle said nodding. “I know. I know you are. I was too. Every time I was made to touch Daryl in some way, I was terrified he would hate me. He always assured me that he didn't. First time I entered him I was scared that I would hurt him, I mean seriously hurt him. He assured me I didn’t. Made damn sure I knew that, every time. After the bastard would go to bed, I would slip into Daryl’s room and crawl into bed with him and just hold him. Let him cry if he needed to… I was there for him. And you need to be there for your dad. You are not the only one hurting. I know it seems like it. But your dad is hurting to, scared, thinking you hate him.”

“But I can’t!” Carl said shaking his head. “I see them there and all I see is what happened. And it scares me. Their touch, the way I responded… all of it…” 

“You think I wasn't scared when fucking my brother?” Merle asked. “If I let myself lose control, I could have really hurt him. Yes, your ass was sore… your legs, your whole body hurt like hell… your body responded making you want it, making you need it, making it feel so good when all you wanted was to hate it but you couldn't. You gasped for them, moaned for them, begged for it to continue all the while you're screaming inside. Your very spirit shattering into a million pieces each time they did something that felt good. Each thrust in crushing your soul… then to pull your father to you and make you fucking blow him… yeah that crushed you. You felt like he didn't care, like he doesn't care! How could he let this happen to you? Am I right? At least he wasn't the on standing there holding you down with a fucking gun to your head telling you that it was your life, that you were nothing but a fuck whore, a bitch to be bred! Yeah, you really got it bad didn’t you? If you want my suggestion, you need to get your ass back to your dad!”

Carl sighed as he listened to Merle, everything the man described was exactly what he'd felt or experienced. He was silent for a long time. “I… I liked it.”

“Sucking him?” Merle asked with a curious expression.

“Yeah.” Carl admitted, looking down ashamed.

“Ain’t nothing to be ashamed of.” Merle said gently. “Yeah, I enjoyed sucking Daryl too. It was the one thing I could do gently and give him pleasure, let him know that no matter what the bastard did or made us do, I still loved him.”

“But he’s my dad, I shouldn’t have liked it.” Carl said keeping his head turned.

“Would you ever do it again?” Lori asked smiling gently at her son.

“Only if I had to.” Carl answered with the slightest nod of his head.

“Do you think your dad would ever want you to do it again?” Merle asked.

Carl was quiet for a time then sighed. “I… I don't know. We… We haven't talked about it.”

“Why not?” Merle asked, his eyes looking at Carl and almost piercing into his soul.

Carl swallowed hard. “I… I um… I just… Couldn't…”

“Couldn't what?” Merle asked. “Face it? You couldn't face what happened? I had to face it every single fucking day! I was constantly reminded of what my father was doing to me and my brother, and that was because he wanted to!”

“Your dad did not want to do that to you son.” Dale said in his calm gentle voice. “You know he didn't, deep down you know.”

Carl nodded softly. “I know, it just… With everything going on, it scared me. And, I was hurting physically and emotionally. I was exhausted… I love my dad I just…”

Merle nodded. “Thought he was enjoying it like they were. It's easy to think that.”

Carl sniffed then looked up hearing both Michonne and Daryl. He took a deep breath.

“I'll go out with you!” Merle said as one by one Dale, Sophia, and Hershel seemed to dissolve into nothing. 

“Am I going crazy?” Carl asked looking at the only two that remained, his mom and Merle. “Are either of you really here?”

“No son.” Lori said smiling. “But we were here for you when you needed us. Go out where they can find you. Tell Rick I love him.”

Carl nodded. “I will mom.” He said and took Merle’s hand, letting him lead the way out of the small cave just in time for Daryl and Michonne to find him.

“Carl!” Michonne yelled grabbing her sword. “Get away from there!”

“CARL!” Daryl yelled from the opposite side and raised his loaded crossbow and fired. 

Carl jumped back as Merle suddenly changed into a walker and had went in for a bite just as one of Daryl’s arrows flew into it's head, Carl stumbled and tripped then ran to Michonne. “It… It was… It was Merle, I swear it was!” 

Daryl got his arrow and went to Carl, looking him over. “Son of a bitch didn't bite you did it?” 

Carl shook his head. “No.” He said gently and cuddled against Michonne. “It… It was Merle!” 

Daryl smiled and chuckled. “Well shit.” He cursed. “I was all prepared to give you a good long lecture. But if you talked to Merle, he’ll have already said pretty much what I was going to say so… No need there.”

Carl looked at Daryl and slipped out of Michonne’s embrace and went to Daryl, he didn't speak but smiled and touched Daryl’s cheek. “Thank you.” He said in a very soft voice, almost a whisper. 

Daryl frowned. “For what Carl?” He asked confused.

“For caring.” Carl said. “For not putting up with my shit… I’ve acted like an ass, I know. Merle told me what you and he went through… You knew I would be okay. And you never gave up on me. Thank you.” He said and hugged Daryl.

Daryl smiled and hugged back, he kissed the side of Carl's head. “You're okay. And you are going to be okay. Let’s get you home, okay?”

Carl nodded. “Okay.” He agreed and took both Daryl and Michonne’s hands.

Ten minutes later, the trio arrived back at the cabin. Daryl pulled the door open and they all just stood there in the doorway.

Rick turned to the door when it opened, he’d been drinking some coffee and talking to Abraham. He set the coffee down and stood. “Carl… son…” 

Carl didn’t speak but ran into his dad’s arms and let himself break down, right in front of everyone, not caring who saw it.

Rick sank to his knees, holding Carl to him, both crying against each other. 

“I’m sorry dad….” Carl said between sobs. “I’m so sorry… I love you, I do… I just…” 

“I know son!” Rick said gently, kissing Carl’s head. “I know! Shhh, it’s okay now! It’s all going to be alright! You’re safe. You’re safe. They’ll never touch you again! Oh God I love you Carl! I am so sorry son.” 

Everyone was silent while the father and son held each other. It was a beautiful moment and most knew that both Carl and Rick were now on the road to recovery from their terrible ordeal, sure it would be a long road but they would be on it together, and that is what truly mattered. 

“Wh-when I woke up in, in the car.” Carl said gently, not letting Rick go. “I saw them, dead and… and you were c-covered in blood. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know if you had, if you had died and turned or… or what. I got out of the car. S-started calling for help. It was stupid I know, but Michonne heard me, called back. I- I led her to where we were.”

Rick nodded. “You did the right thing son.” He said gently kissing Carl’s head. “You were very brave that morning. You got help there, if we’d have been there when the walkers came to the bloodbath I created… we might not be here now. You did very good. I want you to know something Carl.” He gently took hold of Carl’s face, making Carl look him in the eye. “What happened that night, what they did, none of that was your fault. Okay? Are you hearing me? None of it. You didn’t ask for it, you did nothing but what you had to do. If you had tried, honestly tried to stop them, they would have killed us both. You understand?” 

Carl nodded. “I understand. It just, some of it felt…” 

“Good?” Rick asked supply the word for his son, he nodded. “I know. I know it did, and that’s okay. The better it felt, the less you resisted them, the less likely we were to die. You did everything right and I am proud of you! If it had been just one, I would have said fight until you can’t fight anymore, but there wasn’t. We was highly outnumbered and, you did the only thing you could do. They won the battle that night. Even Joker wins battles against Batman from time to time, but in the end…” 

“Good always wins.” Carl said smiling.

Rick smiled and kissed Carl’s head. “Right.” 

Carl nodded and smiled gently. “I’m sorry for what I said. Dad, I don’t hate you! I don’t I was just scared and hurt and I didn’t know what to think. I love you, you’re my dad.” 

Rick nodded. “I know son. I admit, I-it hurt at first to hear you say it, even if you didn’t mean it. But, it’s okay now. It’s all over and we have to move on. It’s going to be hard, there’s going to be things that are done or said that will remind us of that night. But we can’t let it beat us.” 

Carl nodded and nuzzled into Rick’s chest, he sniffed. “I’m scared… I… I’m scared someone’s going to… to try it again…” 

“I know son.” Rick said nodding. “I know. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be scared. You’re already proving that you’re beating this… by coming in here, with all of us. By coming back to me!” He looked up to Michonne and Daryl. “Thank you two, for finding him.”

Daryl smiled and sighed. “It was Merle.” He said. “Merle was there with him. I know that sounds stupid… Merle's dead… But he was there. He helped get through to Carl, helped us find him.”

“Mom was there too,” Carl said. “Mom, Hershel, Dale… S… Sophia… T-Dog… they all came to talk to me… They all helped me.”

Rick smiled. “Remind me to thank them later! Are you hungry son? Thirsty?” 

“I still got that tea if you want it.” Abe said.

Carl looked at him. Now that he was able to think clearly, Abe wasn't as scary as before… Sure, Carl was still scared, jumpy and probably would be for a while. But, he knew now, he was going to be okay. He nodded. “Please…”

While Abe went to get Carl a cup of tea, Rick slowly let Carl go. “No one… Will ever… Touch you like that again!” 

“Don’t say that dad.” Carl said gently. “Someone is bound to try again, and they may or may not succeed, just say we'll try not to let it happen.”

“From now on,” Glenn said gently stepping in from the kitchen with a bowl of soup for Carl. “We are all going to try to stick together. If we had all been there together that night, those creeps wouldn't have stood a chance.”

Carl smiled and nodded taking the bowl of soup and taking a small bite. “Hmmm. This tastes good. Thank you Glenn, for everything you've done. Thank you, all of you…”

Carol stepped over and made Carl look up at her. “Carl, we all love you and thank of you and your dad, as family. Some of us, like Maggie, Abe, Sasha, Tara and Michonne may not have been around you from the start like others… Glenn, Daryl, myself… Your dad… but we all love you nonetheless. And we are all here for you!”

Rick smiled and helped Carl to the couch and pulled his son against him. “Rest son, eat that then drink your tea and just rest.” 

Carl sighed and cuddled himself against his dad, feeling safe for the first time since the attack. He silently ate his soup. 

Rick held Carl to him while he ate his soup and drank half of his tea then Rick felt the change, Carl's body relaxed and he smiled feeling the deep, even breathing telling him Carl had fallen asleep. 

“Want me to move him to the bedroom?” Michonne asked. 

Rick shook his head. “No. Don’t move him. We'll sleep here tonight. Just, please get us a couple of blankets.” 

Carol smiled. “I’ll go get them.”

“Bring one for me Carol.” Michonne said smiling. “I’ll stay here with them tonight, just in case Carl has a nightmare or something.”

Carol nodded and left to get some blankets. 

“I'll be keeping watch tonight.” Daryl said to Michonne and Rick. “So I'll be in here too in case you need me.” 

When Carol had brought the blankets, she moved Carl’s tea cup and covered him and Rick then handed the other blanket to Michonne. “You three get some rest.” 

Daryl, Michonne, and Rick stayed up talking for a good while until Carl whimpered. “Easy son.” Rick said gently kissing Carl's head. “It’s okay. You're safe.”

Carl whimpered and pressed more against Rick. “No…” He muttered. “Please.”

“Carl, come on, wake up. It’s just a dream son.” Rick said and gently shook Carl to wake him.

Carl gasped awake and looked around quickly, panting. He whimpered and pressed against his dad. “It… It was them…”

“You're okay son.” Rick said gently. “I’m here, Daryl's here, so is Michonne. You're fine. They're not here.”

Carl sniffed and shook. “Will it ever stop?”

“Not entirely.” Daryl answered. “But it does get easier, and you just sort of learn to regroup yourself and keep going. I can help you both with that if you like.”

“That would be great Daryl.” Rick nodded. “I think Carl and I could use it. But, in the morning. For now, Carl… Let's try to get some sleep okay?”

Carl nodded. “I'll try.” He agreed and though he was still shaking some, he curled against his dad and let his eyes close once more.

“Tomorrow,” Daryl said gently. “I'm going to begin working with them. Try to get some rest too Michonne.”

Michonne had remained quiet but nodded and closed her eyes.

“Thanks Daryl.” Rick said. “For everything! And tomorrow, we start over.”


End file.
